


True Failure

by Gabby (Kirahsoka)



Series: Where I've Always Been [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Romance, Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Psychological Drama, Star Wars events in a fantasy AU world
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-24 09:59:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 29,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14952509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kirahsoka/pseuds/Gabby
Summary: A young hunter is rescued by a mysterious spy and a tragic romance is born that spans decades. This is Obi-Wan and Luminara's story. How they met, how they fell in love, how tragedy drove them apart, and where they end up.This is a companion story to "Where I've Always Been" (Ahsoka/Barriss-centric story) and set in the same universe/timeline. If you've read the main story, you already know where we are heading. However, this is the how and why.Note: You don't have to read the main story to understand this one. Though, it will reference a few "twists" from the main story, so you will get spoilers. That said, I've tried to explain any important pieces from elsewhere in this one, when overlap happens. However, if you are fuzzy on the details, you know where to go. :-)





	1. Fortune Favors the Reckless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An injured hunter is rescued by a mysterious woman.

“Well, this isn’t good,” Obi-Wan Kenobi mumbled, falling to his knees painfully.

“I’d have to agree,” a dry voice floated in from the trees.

Obi-Wan jerked up, swiftly scanning the area and reaching for his sword. Unfortunately, the movement only resulted in him collapsing completely on the injured side, excruciating pain shooting up his body.

A gentle hand touched his shoulder. “I’m not going to hurt you. Do you want my help?”

Shifting his head, he saw only a cloaked face. The voice was a woman’s, but he could tell nothing else. Obi-Wan tried a weak grin and said, “Well, I’m not sure I can stop you either way.”

A light chuckle emanated from the robes and slender fingers started examining his wound. Then, surprisingly strong hands turned him, following the claw marks to the front of his stomach.

He lifted inquisitive eyes to the shrouded face, trying to focus on something other than pulsating pain. “So, am I being tended to by a roaming Jedi of old or the legendary Goddess of the Hunt?”

The figure paused and looked up at him, head cocking slightly. Then, there was a small snort and graceful hands pushed back the hood.

Obi-Wan caught his breath. It was definitely a woman—an amazingly beautiful one. He gazed at her in silent admiration.

She quirked an eyebrow. “Which of the two would you prefer?”

He grinned. “Neither. I’m happy with you.”

A shy smile flashed across her face and then she resumed examining the injury.

His eyes didn’t leave her face. They roved across the elegant cheekbones and delicate wisps of jet-black hair, peeking out of a loosely wrapped head scarf. An unusual tattoo of small, compact squares, running darkly from her bottom lip down to her chin, complimented her olive complexion. All of it was arranged beautifully on skin that looked smooth and soft. Obi-Wan had an urge to reach out and verify the last part, but controlled himself by focusing on her serious, cerulean blue eyes as they moved with intensity over his body. He wasn’t sure he had ever been so immediately attracted to anyone in his life.

Obi-Wan cleared his throat. “So, am I going to live? You can tell me the truth. I can take it,” he ended with what he hoped was an endearing smile.

The corners of her mouth twitched. “Well, I’m not actually sure yet. Does that make you feel any better?”

“It depends. Does it mean you will need to stay longer to ensure my recovery?”

She stared at him impassively for a moment, before her lips curved into a half-grin. “Possibly.”

“Then, yes, it makes me feel much, much better.”

_______

“Well, it looks like you are going to live after all,” she remarked.

Obi-Wan was propped against a tree next to the fire, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in his side. It had been two days since he'd been saved by the mysterious woman, and he was finally staying awake long enough to carry on a conversation longer than a few one-liners. He was not disappointed with the results. “Hmm… are you sure?”

His rescuer gazed at him impassively. “Sort of.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Sort of? That’s the best you can do? I mean we are only talking about my life here. No need to be precise or anything.”

A half-grin graced her elegant face. “Sorry, let me be more specific. Are you going to survive your current injury? Yes. Are you going to successfully survive this life, given your reckless proclivity for trying to take down full-grown Rancors on your own? Undecided.”

He laughed in pleasure at the snappy response. “Point acknowledged.”

A grin fully formed as she added, “Next time, maybe take a healer along with you, in anticipation of almost killing yourself.”

Obi-Wan replied in a mock-serious tone, “Advice duly noted. Though, you could just solve the problem for me, you know.”

A confused expression looked back at him. “And, how exactly would I accomplish that?”

“By coming with me yourself, of course.” His voice was confident, but he felt nervous anticipation flowing through him.

She stared at him blankly. Then, her eyes softened slightly. “I’m not sure that—” she paused and then raised a snarky eyebrow, “are you saying you need someone to throw in front of the rancor as a distraction?”

Obi-Wan put his hand over his heart in pseudo-wounded pride. “Ye of little faith!” She had avoided his implied question, but that didn’t discourage him. This was his kind of woman and Obi-Wan Kenobi didn't believe in giving up.

_______

“While I love the whole ‘meeting of the mysterious woman in the forest’ theme we have going on… I don’t suppose you’d like to give me a name to put with my beautiful rescuer’s face?” The young hunter gave her an eager smile.

Luminara gazed uncertainly at him. She shouldn’t tell him anything, yet found herself wanting to. Something held her back. “Hmm, I don’t know. I kind of like it better when you don’t know what to do with me.”

Brief disappointment flashed across his face, but he recovered quickly. “Who am I to argue with my savior?”

She continued to change his bandage, chuckling lightly. “You haven’t told me who are you either, you know. Well, other than the obvious.”

The man raised his eyebrows. “The obvious?”

“Yes, the obvious facts that you are a rather ambitious young hunter with clear confidence in his abilities, leading to a penchant for injury and a habit of trying to charm any woman who happens to rescue him,” she said with a playful grin.

He gazed at her delight. Then, his hand suddenly laid on the one tending him. “Almost right. Not just any woman. Only one.”

Luminara looked at him in confused pleasure as a strange feeling swam through her heart. She felt a logical need to distance herself, but also an instinctive hope that his hand would never leave hers. 

Then, he abruptly cringed and his body jerked slightly.

Startled out of her daze by the movement, Luminara realized with horror that her hand had involuntarily dug into the wound she was bandaging. “Oh Gods, I’m so sorry.” She worked feverishly over it to try to sooth the pain and finished re-wrapping it gently, not able to look at him.

A soft voice said, “It’s ok. I’d rather suffer through an accidental brush of your hand than be treated perfectly by anyone else.”

She lifted her head and incredibly intense blue eyes locked on hers. Luminara knew she couldn’t take much more. She was losing control of her emotions quickly. The longer she stayed with him, the more risk of doing something they might both regret. Swiftly rising from his side, Luminara said, “Thanks. I won’t let it happen again, though. Tomorrow, we’ll be close to Naboo. We can get you professional help there.”

The man looked at her in distress. “It’s ok. I’m fine. It was nothing.”

Trying a small smile, Luminara replied with what she hoped was a light tone, “I know. Still, I want to make sure you get taken care of properly. I can’t have you dying on me. At least, not this hunt."

He gazed at her and she could see emotions fluctuating in his eyes. Finally, he fixed her with a sad smile. “Alright, but just remember what I said. I meant it.”

Nodding tightly, she laid down on her side of the fire, trying to tamp down her raging emotions. Luminara still wasn’t sure why she had rescued him in the first place. There had been no reason not to do it. It hadn’t impacted her timeline to do so. Her next mission wasn’t scheduled for another week. She had merely been passing through the area. Still, Luminara wasn’t in the habit of spending days tending to strangers she happened upon in the forest.

Something about his tenacious struggle for survival, as he hugged trees and stumbled over rocks, had caught her interest. The man had been miles from civilization, severely wounded. Yet, he had kept going, determination in his rugged face. When he had fallen with a grin, she hadn’t been able to help herself. She had wanted him to live.

And, Luminara hadn’t been disappointed with her choice. In fact, it had been quite the opposite. She had enjoyed it too much. Now, there was a mistake looming on the horizon. After getting him to a healer tomorrow, she needed to leave as quickly as possible. Luminara Unduli couldn’t afford those kinds of mistakes.

_______

Obi-Wan gripped her hand tightly. “Please, don’t leave me. Not yet.”

The woman gazed at him, uncertainty playing across her beautiful features, as she hovered over him at the healer’s.

He cringed in pain as the healer started stitching his wound. His vision was fuzzy and his head was swimming. Obi-Wan had stubbornly refused the analgesic offered, because he couldn’t afford to be sluggish at this moment. But, the pain was becoming overwhelming. Still, he wouldn’t let himself lose consciousness—not until Obi-Wan knew she would be here when he woke up. “Please,” his voice was pleading now as a small cry escaped his lips with another painful jab of a needle through his stomach. He cursed himself for losing control and tried to refocus on her eyes.

She ran her fingers over his forehead gently. “Ok, I’ll wait for you to wake up. If, you let me give you something for the pain.”

Obi-Wan nodded with relief and tried to produce a grin, but another jab of the needle turned it into a mangled grimace. Then, he only saw blackness.

_______

Obi-Wan jerked awake. He felt a hand gripping his arm and smiled happily. She hadn’t left him.

“Hi there,” the woman said quietly, “how are you feeling?”

“Better with you next to me.”

There was a small intake of breath, but no response.

He shifted painfully to look at her. “Thank you for staying.”

She nodded tightly and then her expression softened. “I do have to leave, though. I have somewhere I need to be.” Her eyes floated away. “I’ve already stayed too long.”

His shoulders slumped. Obi-Wan didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t even move, much less offer to escort her wherever she was going. And, the woman had already spent nearly a week delaying her travel to take care of him. It felt ungratefully selfish to try to keep her, but he desperately wanted to do so.

The woman interrupted his thoughts, “I really do have to go. I’m sorry. But, I’m sure we’ll meet again one day.” Her voice turned teasing, “I’ll keep my eye out for charming hunters with a reputation for reckless bravery.”

Obi-Wan couldn’t help a grin, in spite of himself. Then, he said seriously, “Not all of them, I hope.”

She smiled softly. “No. Only one.” Then, she suddenly leaned over and kissed his forehead, running slender fingers over his chin.

Before he could even react, the woman was gone. And, Obi-Wan Kenobi immediately felt a different kind of pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we gooooo!
> 
> If anyone is interested in tracking the timeline, Obi-Wan and Luminara are about 21 here.


	2. Different Kind of Risk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two years after their first meeting, Luminara and Obi-Wan run into each other again.

Luminara quickly surveyed the crowd as she was dragged into the royal court. She was annoyed at herself for being caught. Granted, the plan was risky and complications were expected. However, she could have easily overpowered the guards and run. No, Luminara had decided to try a non-violent route, hoping to talk her way out of the problem, and was now regretting it. Sovereign Master Windu did not look to be in a particularly forgiving mood today.

As her eyes swept over the room, assessing potential exit strategies, Luminara sucked in a sharp breath. It was… _him._ The young hunter she had rescued almost two years ago was standing with the court delegates, looking dashing yet dignified in the leather garb of a royal master of the hunt. He hadn't changed at all, except to become even more handsome. His wavy, auburn brown hair and deep, intelligent eyes glinted in the evening light streaming through the turret windows. The muscular, graceful form still complimented his well-defined face. Luminara had worked hard to put him out of her mind since their first encounter, but now the unwelcome feelings came rushing back with alacrity.

The man was gazing at her in mesmerized disbelief. Clearly, he recognized her, as well.

She was strangely pleased by that, but tore her eyes away and faced the Sovereign Master.

Windu stared at her impassively. “Luminara Unduli, isn’t it? The redoubtable spymaster has graced us with her presence. Why?”

Luminara raised an eyebrow. “I thought you might have missed me and a visit was overdue.” She wasn’t sure why she had gone for a snarky response. Windu did not appreciate humor. The man grated on her terribly. Usually, Luminara would have been able to hold back the natural inclination, but she apparently was not capable of good decision-making today.

The Sovereign Master scowled at her. “For a spy who has been caught red-handed, you certainly seem to have no care about your own well-being. You have one minute to tell me why I shouldn’t have you thrown in a cell to await interrogation.”

Before Luminara could formulate a response, another voice spoke, “Master Windu, I believe an explanation is order. This is actually my fault.”

Everyone, including Luminara, turned a surprised gaze to the young hunter. He continued quickly, “I asked Master Unduli to ascertain the security of the castle. I had received reports of an organized sabotage ring working in the area and, since the two of us are old friends, I asked her to test the limits of how far a saboteur could infiltrate. I apologize for not consulting you on the plan. However, it was imperative no one be informed, in order to best gauge preparedness.” His expression was innocent and plaintive as he looked at Windu.

Luminara stared at him uncomprehendingly. What was he doing? Why was he doing it? The uninvited emotions rushed through her again and she tried to push them away.

Windu fixed stern eyes on the man, clearly feeling he wasn’t getting the entire truth. “Master Kenobi, am I to understand you took it upon yourself to infiltrate my castle?”

A regal-looking woman, standing next to the hunter Luminara now knew was called Kenobi, spoke authoritatively, “Thank you, Huntmaster Kenobi, but there is no need to take the blame for my actions. Sovereign Master, I must beg your forgiveness for this transgression. My husband, as you know, is overly concerned for my safety. He requested Obi-Wan use his connections to discreetly check the castle security for my visit here. I told him it was unnecessary, as your security is one of the best in the 47 kingdoms—a fact you have now proven. However, he is difficult to persuade when my wellbeing is at stake, even more so since our child was born. I humbly beg your apologies for the insult to your excellent arrangements and hope you will not blame anyone involved for being overzealous in their care of me.”

Now, Luminara was flabbergasted. The woman was in her mid to late-twenties with dark blonde hair, swept into an elegant bun, and fierce blue eyes set on a handsome face. The rich fabric making up her startlingly red dress, along with the expensive jewels on her neck, spoke of privilege. She conveyed authority and strength. The woman was obviously a royal, but not one Luminara knew. This must be the Queen of Shili. No one else fit the description and Luminara had specifically chosen this day to infiltrate the castle because the delegation from Shili was arriving, hopefully as a distraction to castle security.

Windu immediately calmed at her words and his expression turned amenable. Clearly, he thought this would put him at an advantage in negotiations with Shili. He smiled magnanimously. “My Lady, no apology is necessary. I quite understand the situation. Let us say no more of it. In fact, I suggest Master Unduli remain with us during your visit as my guest.”

Luminara held back a snort. He wanted her around to remind the queen of his generosity through whatever negotiations were to come. Then, annoyance flooded her mind. She still didn’t understand what was going on, which was bad enough. Now, it appeared she would be stuck here for the rest of the week.

The Lady of Shili replied gratefully, “You are too kind, Sovereign Master. I thank you for your understanding.” She met Luminara’s eyes meaningfully.

Luminara sighed inwardly and addressed Windu, “I thank you, as well, Sovereign Master, for your generosity of spirit and your hospitality.”

He nodded curtly and then said, “Well, if that is settled, shall we continue with the festivities?” He waved an attendant over. “Master Unduli, let us show you to guest quarters. Please, join us after you have changed and settled.”

Unduli bowed respectfully and turned to follow the attendant. As she did so, her eye caught the young hunter’s, who flashed her an engaging grin. Luminara couldn’t help a small grin in return, though she didn’t know why. Shaking a head at herself, she exited the court.

_______

“Obi-Wan, don’t try to be coy. I know you. This is her, isn’t it? The woman who saved you? The one you have been mooning after ever since?”

He exhaled in defeat. “Fine, you win. Yes, it’s her. Not that I don’t truly appreciate your intervention, but why did you? You know, it may put you at a disadvantage in the negotiations.”

She gave him a superior smile. “Don’t be silly, my dear. I’m not the Queen of Shili for nothing. I know what Windu wants and we are already prepared to give it to him. I’ll maneuver around for a while, so he feels like he earned it. But, in the end, this will make no difference to the outcome.”

Obi-Wan chuckled and shook his head ruefully. “And, you really think I’d be good at this sort of thing? It sounds like a nightmare!”

The woman fixed him with a determinedly fierce gaze. “Yes, I do. The fact that you recognized he gained an advantage at all shows you have the aptitude for it. One of these days, you’re going to realize I’m right.”

He laughed and put a hand over the one holding his arm. “You could convince the Jedi to return.”

She grinned and then said earnestly, “Now, don’t change the subject. You have apparently fallen for a spymaster of some renown. What are you going to do about it?”

“I don’t know. But, thanks to you, I have a week to figure it out.” Obi-Wan smiled, feeling excited anticipation build within him. “And, I intend to use every moment of it.”

_______

Luminara laughed as Obi-Wan finished his story. They were sitting together on a settee in the common room of the castle, a comfortable fire flickering in front of them. Everyone else had long ago retired for the night, but Luminara felt wide awake in his company. She asked, “Tell me again how you thought shooting an arrow at a swiftly flying mynock _, while_ it attacked your legs, was a good idea?”

He glared at her playfully. “Ye of little faith! I’ll have you know I’ve made more difficult shots.”

She replied dryly, “Since you managed to shoot yourself in both legs, I don’t think faith is involved in this situation.”

Obi-Wan grinned, but seemed slightly distraught. “In future, I’ll remember never to tell you a story in which I have not masterfully and incredibly conquered any and all challenges.”

Luminara lifted a hand in apology. “Definitely not. Heroic stories are much less interesting! I like you better when I know you are actually mortal.”

His grin widened and he abruptly grabbed her hand from mid-air. “Good.”

She felt a rush of warmth in her cheeks as he rubbed his thumb over her fingers. Luminara averted her gaze, trying to look at anything but him. Somehow, she couldn’t control her roaming eyes and they traced a path back to his face. What she saw there made her inhale with strange excitement.

Obi-Wan was staring at her with deep admiration and… longing. He suddenly leaned forward and pressed lips against hers, moving his hands to her face and gripping tightly as his mouth moved over hers.

Fluttering emotions flowed excitedly and Luminara almost let herself fall into the moment, when her judgement abruptly reasserted itself. Pulling back quickly, she rose from her seat and stumbled away, trying to distance herself from his piercing presence. She wrapped arms around her abdomen, uncertain feelings cascading painfully.

He jumped up, but didn’t move toward her. “I’m sorry. I-I didn’t—” Obi-Wan exhaled deeply and continued, “I can’t say I didn’t mean it. Because, I did. I’ve been dreaming about that since we first met. I…” he trailed off and simply gazed at her in abject yearning.

A delighted thrill raced through her and Luminara realized she wanted him too much to give in to it. “I-I’m sorry. I do want—part of me wants—I can’t—” Taking a steadying breath, she said, “I’m afraid of getting attached to you. Once we leave here and return to our normal lives, it might be… too much.”

Obi-Wan gaped at her in astonishment. “What do you mean? Do you think I’m only interested in one night? I want _so_ much more than that.”

Luminara's mouth dropped open. “You can’t be serious? We are—we live in different worlds, Obi-Wan. How would that ever work?”

Edging toward her, he said determinedly, “I don’t care. I just want you. We could make it work.”

“You don’t even know me. You only know what you’ve seen in non-typical situations. Do you know the kind of things I do? Who I am?” Her heart beat painfully in her chest.

Obi-Wan was now standing directly in front of her. Carefully raising his hand, he ran fingers over her cheek. “The other stuff isn’t important. I see the real you. And, that’s who I want.”

She gazed into his beseeching eyes, conflicting emotions battling painfully. Luminara wanted to believe it—wanted to throw herself into his arms, but she was so very afraid. “What happens if you find out I’m not who you think I am?”

He stroked her face tenderly. “It won’t happen. Still, I suppose it’s a risk. Everything worth having involves risk. I’m willing to take it for you. I guess, the question is—are you?”

Luminara tried to calm her chaotic mind and consider the question objectively, but she already felt her heart breaking at the thought of failure. “I don’t know if I can. I’m… sorry.” Unable to continue looking at him, she ran out the door.

_______

“So, tell me, why do you risk your life doing this kind of work?”

Luminara jumped at the unexpected query from the woman who had suddenly appeared out of nowhere. “I’m not sure. I suppose it was something I discovered I could do.”

The queen gazed at her thoughtfully. “And, yet, that doesn’t extend to other areas of your life?”

“What do you mean?”

“Nevermind, I tend to say things out loud that should stay unsaid. I noticed you and Obi-Wan are no longer attached at the hip. I take it you both finally realized how impossible it was?”

Luminara felt a flash of anger at the presumption, but quickly brought it under control. It wasn’t anything she hadn’t told herself, after all. For some reason, though, she was hesitant to agree. “I don’t know about impossible…”

The expression changed from regal superiority to clear disbelief. “You come from two different worlds. I’ve known Obi-Wan a long time. He is charmingly chivalrous, stupidly brave, sometimes endearingly clueless, and, on occasion, annoyingly idealistic. But, overall, he's a man with integrity rarely found in our world. You are serious, practical, logical, and talented, but necessarily encased in a world of death, lies, and manipulation. I pass judgement on none of this, but you must admit the notion that you could build a life together seems a bit preposterous.”

Not able to hold back the anger this time, Luminara retorted heatedly, “Who are you to say whether it could work or not?”

The woman didn’t seem offended by the directness and merely shrugged. “It’s simple, my dear. Such a relationship requires commitment. He has boundless faith. You seem to have a strong sense of duty. But, both traits are required of both parties to achieve commitment. Blind faith on his side and unwavering duty on yours will not create a happy relationship. And, quite frankly, I’m not sure you are capable of the faith required,” she ended in a matter of fact tone.

Feelings she had never experienced rose within Luminara. One part of her agreed wholeheartedly with the cold assessment. However, the part that disagreed vehemently won out. She fixed a piercing glare on the superior eyes facing her. “You have no idea what I’m capable of.”

Unexpectedly, her expression shifted into something less royal and more… human. Smiling softly, she said, “Perhaps, you are the one that has no idea what you’re capable of, my dear.” Placing a warm hand on Luminara’s shoulder, she continued, “Think about it. Nothing is impossible with faith.” Then, the woman walked away.

Luminara stood in stunned disbelief. What had just happened? Did she plan that entire thing? It didn’t really matter. It had worked. Luminara gazed across the room at Obi-Wan, still warring within herself. It felt like she was standing on the edge of an abyss. Then, she simply… jumped.

Something inside cracked apart and a sense of freedom and joy flowed through her heart. It was time for Luminara Unduli to take a different kind of risk.

_______

Obi-Wan Kenobi trudged slowly into his room, feeling desperately unhappy. Removing his shirt in frustration and throwing it across the room, he tried to think of options. There were none. The woman of his dreams was right in front of him and he could do nothing about it. Obi-Wan blew a frustrated breath out of clenched teeth. Rubbing his forehead, he gazed toward the window vacantly and then froze.

“Hi there,” Luminara said. She was curled up in his beveled window, a soft smile on her face, wearing nothing but a small shift.

Obi-Wan stared at her unblinkingly, unable to respond.

She slid around in the window to face him. The shimmering shift's fabric clung tightly to her skin, while slender, smooth legs stretched from underneath it and hung lightly over the window sill. “So, I’ve been thinking.”

The man made a choked noise and desperately tried to regain control of his senses. Finally, he managed a hoarse, “Yes?”

“Would you say commitment requires faith?”

Obi-Wan continued gazing at her, unable to formulate a response to such a seemingly random question, while emotions and thoughts flew chaotically around in his head. “Um, sort of? I guess.” He had no idea what kind of answer that was, but it was the best his mind could come up with in the moment.

Luminara raised an eyebrow, grin playing at the edges of her mouth. “Sort of? That’s the best you can do?”

Realizing he needed action, Obi-Wan strode forward and placed two hands on her face. As he did so, his mind focused, excited anticipation building. “I can do much, much better than that. If, you want me to?”

Smiling happily, she murmured, “I want… everything.”

Obi-Wan grinned, ecstatic joy filling his heart, and then set about making good on his promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like they are going to give it a go!  
> I've tried to capture a young Obi-Wan/Luminara based on what we know they become later, and Obi-Wan's reference to him being reckless and impulsive when he was younger. However, it's hard to say whether you will find it convincing or not.
> 
> Side note: For those who've read the main story, this chapter was exciting to write as we get to meet Ahsoka and Anakin's mother in her prime. It likely won't be the last time.


	3. Growing Faith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luminara starts to trust herself and her feelings, while Obi-Wan basks in happiness. The queen and a young Ahsoka help them along.

Obi-Wan buried his face into her neck. “I missed you so much.”

Luminara sighed happily as she wrapped her arms around him. “Well, maybe you should visit more often, then.”

Chuckling, he dragged his lips down to her shoulder, brushing the skin in his path lightly. “Sorry, my love. Next time, I’ll tell arguing ministers to come to an agreement more quickly.”

She raised a hand to massage the strong muscles in his neck and murmured, “Excuses, excuses.”

“Don’t worry.” Obi-Wan lifted his head with a boyish grin. “One day, I’ll actually be good at this negotiator thing. Then, you won’t be able to get rid of me.”

Tracing his lips with her fingers, she raised an amused eyebrow. “Be careful, I might hold you to that promise.”

He gazed into her eyes with intensity. “I’m counting on it.”

Something jumped in her chest as Luminara whispered, “I-I love you.”

Obi-Wan stared at her in shock and then a joyful smile appeared on his face. “About time.”

Luminara tried to glare at him, but a sense of utter happiness washed over her. She felt herself falling irrevocably into his deep, steadfast eyes as if he were a part of her now. It made her feel… complete.

Stroking her cheek tenderly, he asked, “Anything else you’d like to confess while you’re at it?”

“Hmm… sort of.” She pressed her lips against his, clinging to them fervently, wanting him to be as close as possible.

Obi-Wan responded by wrapping his arms more tightly around her and pulling her into him. His mouth moved longingly over hers.

Desperately wanting to be even closer, Luminara pulled off his robe. Then, quickly moved to the underlying tunic and didn’t stop until she was running her hands over his bare chest.

His mouth drifted down the side of her face and kissed her neck hungrily. Energetic hands started sliding the dress off her shoulders and down her arms, lips following behind them to caress every new piece of skin revealed.

As he reached her chest, Luminara gasped. Her senses started to fill with overwhelming need and her fingernails dug deeply into his skin.

Obi-Wan moaned softly and swiftly pulled the rest of the dress from her body. Then, adjusting his grip to pick her up, he carried her toward the bedroom, still running his rough lips over her.

Luminara gripped the back of his neck, shifting in his strong arms to wrap her legs tightly around his waist. She sighed happily, not releasing her hold on him, as they fell into the bed.

_______

“Hello, my dear. It’s good to see you again,” the woman said affectionately, giving her a tight hug.

Unexpected warmth filled Luminara at the reception and she felt an instinctive urge to hug back, but wasn’t sure if it was appropriate. Instead, she opted for a respectful greeting, “My lady, you are looking well.”

Indeed, the woman nearly shined at the moment. Her deep brown, linen pants and matching hunter’s jerkin enhanced her already graceful figure. The outfit was strikingly offset by a sapphire-colored waist sash that complimented her fierce eyes, leather gloves and a silver dagger securely hanging from it. Combined with the exquisite, cypher wood bow slung across her back, the woman looked every inch a queen and a huntmaster. Luminara had no idea how she managed to pull off comfort and elegance simultaneously, while still looking regal.

“Luminara, if you continue to be this formal, I’ll have to take drastic measures,” she responded in annoyance, “we are friends, are we not?”

Caught off-guard by the question, Luminara replied hesitantly, “Um, yes. Of course.”

“Uh-huh. That wasn’t very convincing.” Amused eyebrows raised.

She desperately tried to think of a response to fix her inadvertent slight. Luminara liked the woman very much and didn’t want her to think otherwise. “I’m sorry. I just—I don’t…”  She couldn’t remember ever having a friend and wasn’t sure she even knew what it felt like if you were one.

A gentle hand took her arm. “I think, perhaps, you are not accustomed to having people who care about you. I am very sorry to inform you that you will need to get used to the idea. But, not to worry, I’ll show you the ropes.” The woman flashed her an engaging grin.

Luminara couldn’t help a return grin, feeling inexplicably happy. “I think I can handle that.”

There was a brilliant smile in response. “In that case, we are _definitely_ friends.”

_______

“I'm saying you need to be careful with her, Obi-Wan.”

He looked at her in confusion. “I'm still not getting it.”

She gave an exasperated, yet refined, sigh that reminded Obi-Wan of the time Ahsoka had ripped off her dress during the royal ball.

Trying not to be offended at getting the same treatment as a five-year old princess, he said snarkily, “I’m _trying_ to understand, your royal highness-ness.”

There was a brief apologetic grin. “Alright, let me explain it differently. Luminara is fragile. She doesn't seem like it, but she is. Being with you is probably the most frightening thing she's done in her life. So, don't move too fast.”

“How in the world can I be the scariest scenario a master spy has ever encountered?” Obi-Wan laughed.

Her expression turned severe. “I'm serious. If you aren't careful, you'll both regret it.”

Obi-Wan gazed at her. “You really are serious. Ok, explain it to me again.”

The woman sent her eyes skyward. “Starting a relationship with you, forming a bond, was a risk she'd never taken before. Luminara can risk life, limb, and anything else with ease. But, not her heart. I think, deep down, she still expects it to not work. She's afraid you'll change your mind, or she'll make a terrible mistake, or being with her will hurt you, and so on.”

“Why would she think that?” he asked in disbelief. “We're very happy! We've been together over a year now and everything is fine. Actually, it’s spectacular,” he ended happily.

Fierce eyes met his. “I can see I'm not going to prevail against your annoyingly idealistic worldview, once again. However, it doesn't matter if you understand—just listen. Ask her to marry you, by all means. But, when you do, don't push. Luminara is practical and, to be honest, she knows better than you how challenging marriage would be for you both.” Putting up a hand to stop his objections, she continued quickly, “I know, you'll make it work. And, I believe you can _together._ I just mean you'll have to wait for her to be ready to take that leap with you. If you don't, you may… lose her.”

Obi-Wan stared at her, still trying to parse through the words. It didn’t make sense to him. Why would Luminara be worried at this point? Did she not realize how much he loved her?

She spoke gently, “My dear, your faith—in her, in everything working out—is what she needs. But, she has to believe it too. That will take time. Much more time than you've given it.”

He contemplated for a few moments. He still didn't quite understand, but it didn't really matter. Obi-Wan had learned the hard way to trust her judgement on such things. She seemed to have an instinctive ability to read people. “Ok, I'll keep it in mind.”

The woman grinned in relief. “Oh, it might be better if you introduce the topic casually, rather than in a fit of romantic, over the top, but extremely charming pageantry. But, that's up to you.”

He grinned back at her. “What would I do without you?”

“Hmm… good question. Lucky for you, I'm not planning on going anywhere.”

Obi-Wan met her eyes intently. “You better not. I couldn't take it,” he paused and switched to a lighter tone, “and think about me, out in the world, without you to tell me what I'm doing wrong!”

A hand touched his cheek affectionately. “You'd figure it out. It’s in your nature. You have an amazing ability to see what people need, even when they don’t know it themselves. It makes you much wiser than you realize. But, remember, that doesn't mean they'll see what you see. So, trust yourself, even when you fail.”

“Well, that was deep. You realize, I have no idea what you’re talking about, right?” He grinned.

“Nevermind,” she replied in mock-annoyance, “I’ll tell you this again when you’re not in a ‘luckiest man on the planet’ mood.” Her voice suddenly tinged with emotion. “I just want you to know that I have faith in you. Do you remember what you told me when I lost everything?”

Obi-Wan smiled softly. “I said that you’d never be alone, because we were like family. And, that’s never changed. You are still my family.”

Her hand ran across his cheek again. “And, you’re mine. I’ve expanded my family since then, but you’re still as much a part of it. Don't you forget it.”

He smiled again and then said airily, “Who am I to refuse the orders of a queen?”

She flashed him an endearing grin. “Good. Oh, while we’re on the topic, I know you are a very busy and important negotiator now, and have lost your heart to a woman who has an erratic schedule, but you could visit me every once in a while. I realize Anakin is out with the army a good deal now. But, I do have another child, you know. I’m not sure Ahsoka even knows who you are!”

Obi-Wan laughed. “I’m not sure why I’d bother, when you eventually show up at my door. As for Ahsoka, get back to me. I promise to be her favorite Uncle Obi-Wan, once she’s old enough to remember my name.”

That got him an annoyed glare. “I can see I’ll need to take desperate measures one of these days.”

He kissed her forehead fondly. “Ok, I’ll try to do better. In fact, perhaps, I’ll show up for the annual trade council. But, only if Ahsoka plans to tell Master Windu his face looks like a sick rancor again.”

She laughed deeply. “I have to say, that might be one of my proudest, yet most horrifying moments as a mother.” Then, her expression turned stern. “Don’t think you’re going to get out of coming to the trade council now, either.”

He lifted his hands in defeat. “As you wish, my lady.”

Her eyes brightened. “Excellent. Now, can we get back to hunting? You know, the thing we were doing _before_ you decided to tell me your enthralling proposal plans?”

Obi-Wan chuckled. “Are you saying killing things is more exciting than my love life?!”

A dry, but amused, voice replied, “I know it's hard to believe, but actually… yes.”

_______

“I’m serious about this, you know.”

“I know you are, my love. Please, don’t get attached to the idea.”

Obi-Wan frowned. “Why not?”

Luminara sighed heavily. “Have you really thought about the consequences? You’re a well-respected negotiator with a reputation for integrity, reason, and fairplay. But, you’re relatively new at it. You still need to make your mark. Marrying a shady, notorious, mistress of the underworld isn’t exactly a bright career move.”

He stared at her in disbelief. “I don’t care about any of that. People will get over it. Even if they don’t, I still don’t care. I just want you.”

She smiled at him adoringly. “I love you. You really think everything will always work out, don’t you?”

A small grin appeared as he replied, “Of course. It has so far, hasn’t it?”

Grinning impishly, she said, “Hmm… sort of, I guess.”

“Sort of?! I’m laying here—you wrapped in my arms, happier than I’ve been in my entire life, in love with the most beautiful, brilliant, amazing spy on the planet, who also happens to love me, and that’s the best you can do?!”

Luminara couldn’t help herself and she shifted in his embrace to grip his face tightly, moving her lips over his strong chin and rough lips. “I don’t deserve you.”

Obi-Wan pulled back and locked eyes with her. “Yes, you do. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. And, I’m tired of being apart for weeks at a time. I want you to be with me always.”

“I know.” She gazed at him, torn. “Marriage would mean a lot of changes to our lives, though. How would you feel when you came home and I wasn’t there? What if you had to sit at home worrying about me, because you knew for sure that I was out risking my life somewhere? Plus, I’d still have to maintain a base of operations somewhere for planning, training, and clients. So, I might not even be home when I was home. And, what if your wife was caught doing something illicit in a place where you were doing a delicate negotiation? Have you really thought this through?”

He stared beseechingly into her eyes. “Some small things may be challenging. I can only tell you that I desperately want to try. Because, I know we can make it work. The positives more than outweigh anything else and they always will.” Pausing briefly, he added, “You don’t have to decide right now.”

She loved him so much. But, Luminara couldn’t shake the feeling that he wasn’t prepared for such an undertaking. He still didn’t understand what she was truly capable of and what that might mean for his life if they were married. But, she also couldn’t bear to make him unhappy. After a few moments, she simply smiled and said, “I’ll think about it, alright? I need some time. Please?”

Obi-Wan grinned endearingly. “For you, I would wait a lifetime.”

_______

“Ahsoka,” Luminara said firmly, “it’s time to go.” It was the same tone of voice she had heard the girl’s mother use and she prayed it would work. She wasn’t sure why her friend thought Luminara would be able to entertain a six-year old for an entire day. Children were not exactly a spy’s specialty area.

The girl finally stopped her dizzying circles around the square and ran back to Luminara, slipping her hand inside hers. Ahsoka looked up at her with wide, shining blue eyes. “K.”

Luminara smiled at her. The child was really quite endearing when she wasn’t creating chaos, which was a good deal of time.

As they walked away from the temple, Ahsoka said, “I liked that.”

Looking down in surprise, Luminara said, “I’m glad. I thought it might be boring for you.”

“Nope. Liked it.” The girl grinned up at her. It was an engaging grin that reminded Luminara of her mother. “Like you too.”

Luminara started. “Well, thank you.”

Ahsoka suddenly came to a stop and stared at her. “Do you like me?”

Inwardly cursing herself for not being better at this, Luminara tried to put warmth in voice and said, “Of course, I do.”

The girl’s expression turned doubtful and her bottom lip trembled slightly.

Luminara briefly considered hugging or picking her up as a persuasive measure. However, she had found out the hard way that Ahsoka did not appreciate being treated like an actual child, thanks to a horrifying incident with an older woman pinching her cheeks at the temple. Her mother claimed the girl had actually screamed like an enraged mynock the last time she had tried to carry her to bed. Luminara slowly knelt next to her, hoping the action wasn't going to set off a replay of the temple incident. Then, she said earnestly, “I really do like you very much.” She reached out a tentative hand to the child’s face and ran a finger over her cheek. “I promise.”

A sudden grin appeared and Ahsoka put a small finger on Luminara’s cheek, mimicking the gesture. “Good.”

Feeling strangely touched by the simple interaction, Luminara smiled happily and said, “You, my dear, are very special.”

Ahsoka gazed at her in childlike seriousness. “Not yet. One day.”

Raising an eyebrow in interest, she asked, “Why not now?”

“Not a warrior yet,” was the simple reply.

Luminara paused for a moment and then said, “You don’t have to be a warrior to be special.”

Ahsoka’s expression turned incredulous and she shook her head stubbornly. “One day.”

She tried to think of how to respond. A full day with this child had already told her arguing was going to get her nowhere. Luminara tried a different approach. “Well, I'm not a warrior. Can you tell me how to be special?”

The girl met her eyes fiercely. “You're already special. Don't need to be a warrior.”

“Oh.” Luminara was thrown off by the unexpected answer. “Well, doesn't that apply to you too?”

“Nope,” was the simple reply.

Sighing heavily, she gave up. It was clear she wasn't going to get anywhere. Luminara was sure her mother would fix this anyway. The woman would absolutely not want her child to assign specialness based on a chosen profession. Maybe, it was just some kind of passing fancy. “Alright, if you say so.” She went to stand back up, when Ahsoka pulled her hand down, clearly not wanting her to move. So, Luminara returned to a kneeling position. “What is it?”

The girl gazed at her strangely for a moment. “You think I'm already special?”

Meeting the fierce, blue eyes intently, Luminara replied, “Yes, I do. Very special.”

Suddenly, Ahsoka wrapped her small arms around Luminara's neck and stayed there. Then, she said softly, “Thanks.”

Luminara smiled. “No need to thank me for telling the truth.”

The girl grinned up at her and then buried her head in Luminara's chest, tightening her grip around her neck. “You're special too.”

Putting her own arms around the small body, Luminara said lightly, “Well, I guess the rest of the world better watch out when we get together. They won't be able to handle all the specialness!”

Ahsoka giggled, but stayed wrapped in Luminara's arms, head resting against her chest.

The child apparently had no intention of letting go, but they couldn't stay kneeling in the street all evening. Luminara wasn't sure what to do next.

All of a sudden, the girl looked up at her and said tentatively, “You can carry me. Since we're both special, it is ok.”

Luminara stared at her in surprise, but immediately picked Ahsoka up and tucked her against her chest. The feel of the child snuggling in her arms made Luminara very happy, though she wasn't sure why. She just knew that she was.

By the time they reached home, Ahsoka was asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was one of my favorite chapters to write. Everyone is happy and nothing hurts. For now. Plus, the queen is magnificent. And, little Ahsoka is super cute. The dynamic between Luminara and Ahsoka I especially like, given the place they eventually end up and the apparent change in attitude Luminara has toward her late into the main story. 
> 
> Obi-Wan and the queen are two people who found each other at the right time in their lives to form a permanent bond that transcends everything. It's not a romantic relationship, but it is something special. Hopefully, that comes through here.
> 
> [Timeline note: This chapter spans about a 2.5 year period. Obi-Wan and Luminara are 23 to 25-ish.]


	4. Broken Faith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joy leads to tragedy. Tragedy leads to grief. Grief leads to anger. Anger leads to pain. Pain leads to suffering.

“I-I am—” she broke off and sat quickly on the chair next to his bed.

Obi-Wan looked up at her in concern and quickly shifted to a sitting position on the edge of the bed, taking her hands in his. “What’s wrong?”

Luminara met his eyes anxiously. “I’m pregnant.”

He stared blankly for a few moments. Then, a joyous grin appeared on his face.

“You—you’re happy about this?” she asked in surprise.

“Of course! More than happy. Thrilled. Immensely and incredibly happy.” He paused and examined her carefully. “You’re not.”

“Yes, I mean no, I’m not anything and I’m everything.” She couldn’t express the conflicting feelings properly and averted her eyes.

A gentle hand touched her face. “Luminara, look at me.”

She dragged eyes back to his.

Obi-Wan smiled encouragingly. “Now, tell me what you’re feeling.”

“I’m surprised. I’m happy. I’m nervous. I’m excited. But, mostly, I’m… worried.”

“Why?”

Tears spilled from her eyes. “How are we going to bring a child into this chaotic world? How will we keep it safe? What will the logistics be? Will I have to give up my profession? Will you? Where will the child live? What will we tell people? Will we be good parents? How can we…” she trailed off hopelessly.

Obi-Wan wiped the tears from her cheeks. “We’ll figure all of that out.” He grinned enthusiastically. “Together, we can handle anything.”

Of course, he would think that. Their entire world would change in dramatic ways, but he could only see the positive. “Sometimes, I wonder why you love me.”

He leaned his forehead into hers. “Because, you make me laugh, make me cry, and make me very, very happy. Why can’t you believe me?”

She stroked his face tenderly. “I’ll try to do better in future. After all, our child is going to be the most practical, idealistic person ever seen.”

Obi-Wan laughed. “Now, that’s more like it. And, as much as I hate to be practical… getting married would solve several of the logistical problems you seem to find insurmountable.” He pulled back to give her a shrewd grin.

“Hmm… true. I suppose it would have other advantages, as well.” She lifted a teasing eyebrow.

He laughed with pleased surprise and then deadpanned, “I have been trying to tell you that for almost two years now. And, I've been thinking it for even longer.”

Luminara chuckled and kissed his cheek. “What can I say? I’m a slow learner.”

Gripping her hand, he locked their eyes and spoke intensely, “Luminara Unduli, I love you. Please, make me the happiest man on the planet and agree to be my wife?”

The worried haze slipped away as she lost herself in his confident, supportive eyes. Something shifted inside her and Luminara suddenly realized she believed him—about everything. His faith was an anchor for her soul and, for the first time, she truly let herself believe they could handle anything… together. Two opposing paths were before her. The destiny she had been trained to have and the one now being offered. The choice came easily. There was only one destiny Luminara Unduli truly wanted. She answered softly, “If you insist.”

Obi-Wan stared at her unblinkingly, as if his mind couldn’t grasp the response.

Luminara grinned happily and leaned closer, hovering over his lips. “Um, that’s a yes, you know.”

An ethereal smile spread over his face as he pulled her out of the chair and into the bed.

_______

“Well, my dear, what should we do today?” Her friend grinned engagingly, looking elegant as ever in a deep red, velvet cape worn over a white, form-fitting jumpsuit. Despite the simplicity of the outfit, she seemed even more radiant than usual.

The woman had shown up unannounced, insisting that Luminara needed company, while Obi-Wan was in Chandrila negotiating a trade dispute. And, Luminara surprised herself with how happy she was at the unexpected presence of her friend. She replied dryly, “I wouldn’t dare suggest anything, _my lady._ I’m sure you already have the entire day planned.”

The woman glared, but a small smile played around the edges of her mouth. “I can see you have decided to be difficult today.”

“Hmm… are you telling me you don’t already have a list of activities you think we should do?” Luminara quirked an eyebrow.

A guilty grin flashed. “Ok, fine. You know me so well. However, if you want to do something different, you can tell me, you know. Just because I’m demanding, doesn’t mean you can’t be too.”

Luminara lifted a horrified hand. “I wouldn’t dream of it. You do remember what happened last time?”

“I said I was sorry about slightly injuring your very important client! You’re never going to let that go, are you?”

Luminara stared at her. “Slightly injuring?! You stabbed her in the leg. She couldn’t walk for two weeks!”

“Ok, so maybe _slightly_ injuring wasn’t the best choice of words. But really, what was she thinking, showing up unannounced at your compound while we were sparring?!” She grinned innocently. It was an endearing grin that Luminara found impossible to stay annoyed with, no matter what had come before it.

Not able to hold back laughter any longer, Luminara replied in a half-choked voice, “You are impossible.”

Her friend’s eyes lit up with delight. “Well, now that I’ve gotten a laugh out of you, I think my work here is done.”

Luminara smiled. Then, she felt sudden anxiety. “Hopefully, that doesn’t mean you’re leaving now?”

A warm hand slipped into Luminara’s arm. “Absolutely not. I came here to spend time with my friend. And, that is exactly what I plan to do.”

For some reason, the words created a deep happiness inside Luminara. She gazed at her and said quietly, “Good.”

Shining blue eyes looked back warmly and the hand tightened around her arm. “So, how about we start with the toymaker's shop? I intend to be the best adopted aunt in the history of aunthood. That means buying my new niece or nephew more entertainment than any child should ever have.”

Luminara chuckled. “In that case, we better get started. But, first,” she glanced down at her plain, black tunic, and said wryly, “I’m going to change.”

Confused eyes stared back at her. “What’s wrong with your outfit? You look amazing.”

Slightly annoyed, Luminara said, “Um, I’m pregnant not delusional. There’s no need to humor me.”

Now, the woman’s expression turned frustrated. “Luminara, seriously? Do I strike you as the type to say things I don’t mean?”

“Well, no. Still, if you think this outfit looks amazing we need to have your vision examined. Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? You are possibly the most elegant and… shining person on the planet. Do you really expect me to walk around with you, without at least putting in an effort to not embarrass myself?” She raised an amused eyebrow. Luminara found this entire conversation preposterous in the extreme.  

The woman gaped. “Um, ok.” She paused, eyes drifting away for a moment, and then smiled. “I know what the problem is. It’s the cape isn’t it? I love capes. I try to fit them into every outfit. When I was a child in the fields, I used to watch the warriors and the court delegates walk by and thought to myself, ‘one day, my dear, you’ll have one of those’. And, now I do!” She grinned in childlike delight at her cape.

Luminara stared. She had no idea what to do with such guileless enthusiasm. The woman truly thought one article of clothing had somehow made Luminara imagine the regal beauty and charming elegance in front of her. She cleared her throat and replied earnestly, “No. It’s not the cape. It’s you. _You_ are everything I just said. The fact that you don’t realize it… is incredible.”

Disbelieving eyebrows raised.

“Seriously,” Luminara continued wryly, “do I strike you as the type to say things I don’t mean?”

For possibly the first time in Luminara’s memory, a shy smile graced the woman’s face. “Well, thanks.” Then, the smile turned back into the usual engaging grin. “Still, I think you are underestimating the power of a cape.” Her face suddenly brightened and she quickly undid the cape, wrapping it around Luminara. Then, she stepped back to admire her handiwork. “Yep, just as a I thought. Even more amazing than before. You keep it.”

Gazing at her friend, Luminara felt a sudden sense of soul-filling warmth. She glanced down to the cape and then back up at the delighted expression facing her, before saying softly, “Thanks.”

The woman took her arm again with barely contained excitement. “Does this mean we can skip the whole changing thing and go now?”

Luminara laughed happily. “Alright, you win. As long as I have you and a cape, I suppose I can handle anything.”

_______

“So, my soon to be wife, what would you like to do now?” Obi-Wan looked exceedingly handsome in his finely cut singlet and matching trousers, sword hanging dashingly from his waist. Luminara still had a secret preference for his rugged, leather huntmaster's outfit. Either way, the boyish charm remained, though.

She smiled contentedly and tightened her grip on his arm. “I don’t know, my soon to be husband, what are you in the mood for?”

He grinned devilishly. “Well, I’m afraid my wish at the present moment wouldn’t be appropriate, given we are wandering through a city street.”

Giving him a snarky smile, Luminara remarked, “I don’t know. I bet we could make it work.”

Obi-Wan raised intrigued eyebrows. “You are turning into a downright optimist these days.”

“Hmm… blame the baby.”

The man laughed. “That’s your answer for everything. Of course, I’m pretty sure you can get away with anything and I’d still love you more than I did the day before.”

Luminara gazed happily at him and leaned closer, laying her head against his arm as they strolled down the streets of Naboo.

“Do you have to leave tomorrow?” His voice was dejected.

She sighed regretfully. “I’m sorry, my love. I do still have missions to complete, you know.”

Obi-Wan suddenly stopped walking and looked at her intently. “This next mission—how dangerous is it?”

Luminara stared at him. He had never asked for details before. It made her nervous. “I don’t know. About like usual, I guess.”

“So… dangerous then.” His voice was flat.

“Everything I do is potentially dangerous. You know that,” she said gently.

He bit his lip. “I know. But, now there is more than just us at stake. You are carrying our child.”  

Irritation rising, Luminara tried to maintain control and spoke evenly, “You think I don’t know that? I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve been injured on a mission. You are talking about a highly improbable event. I’m not saying it doesn’t worry me on some level, as well. But, I already agreed to certain commissions. I can’t back out. I have a duty to my clients.”

His face reddened slightly. “What about your duty to me? To our child?”

She flushed and jerked away from him. “I didn’t know agreeing to be your wife would mean you would get to tell me how and when to risk my life. Or, that my duty and integrity would become meaningless in the face of your attachment to me.”

Obi-Wan shook his head vehemently. “That is not what this is. I’m just asking you to be careful with our unborn child. I don’t think that’s unreasonable.”

“Oh, this from the man who insisted I look beyond practical considerations in life. To trust and have faith in myself and the world around me. What happened to everything working out always? Is this going to be how our life is once we are married? You telling me what to do and who to be?”

Wincing at the accusation, his expression softened, “Please, my love, I’m not trying to control you. Or, tell you what to do with your life. I want you to be happy. I’m just—knowing someone else is depending on me now… it’s a little overwhelming is all.” Tears were forming in his eyes. "I don't want to fail you or our child."

The anger seeped out of her and Luminara moved back to him, running tender fingers over his chin. “Alright. Let me see what I can do. I’ll try to cut back the missions or only take really boring, safe ones until the baby is born. Ok?”

He smiled with relief. “I love you.”

Putting arms around his neck, Luminara murmured, “That’s good. Otherwise, we would have serious problems.”

Obi-Wan laughed and kissed her forehead. “I told you. There’s nothing we can’t handle together.”

She grinned, but a small doubt worked its way into her heart. All she could think was how desperately she hoped that was true.

_______

Luminara woke up to terrible pain in her abdomen. She glanced down quickly and saw bandages wrapped across an unexpectedly flat stomach. A deep feeling of dread pierced her soul. The mission had gone horribly wrong. It was supposed to be a simple reconnaissance mission, no risk at all. Images flashed across her mind of an explosion and extreme pain as she flew across a field. No.

She gazed down again at her stomach, dread turning into overwhelming panic. Luminara glanced around desperately for someone to tell her what she thought wasn’t true and found herself facing the pained eyes of Obi-Wan.

Freezing in place, she asked hoarsely, “The—the baby?”

He simply stared at her vacantly.

Tears from deep inside welled up, spilling over her cheeks. Luminara turned her head away from him, not able to handle his grief-stricken face. Trembling with heart-wrenching pain, she realized how much she wanted him to comfort her, to hold her, to tell her things would be alright.

But, he didn’t. There was only silence.

_______

Luminara stared blankly at the wall. She didn’t know how long she had been lying in this bed, listening to him breath—listening to his silence.

Finally, Obi-Wan spoke distantly, “The healer says you should be able to walk again in a week or so.”

She didn’t respond, deep emptiness pressing against her soul.

“Anyway, I guess you know what happened?”

Luminara shook her head weakly.

He replied flatly, “Well, apparently your mission took you deep into an ordinance zone.”

Her body stiffened and she whispered, “No. That can’t be true. I wasn’t supposed to be in any danger. It was a long-range reconnaissance mission. I don’t… understand.”

An emotionless voice responded, “Neither do I. You promised me this wouldn’t happen. I believed you.”

Luminara shifted quickly to face him, tears coming quickly, and said desperately, “Do you think I wanted this to happen?”

Obi-Wan gazed at her, deep pain behind his blank eyes. There was no response.

Searing hurt coursed through her heart. “I took this mission for you! For—for the baby! It was supposed to be safe. If it hadn’t been for you, I wouldn't have even been there!”

His expression lost its composure. Anger, overwhelming in its intensity, radiated from his voice. “If you had listened to me, you wouldn’t have been on any missions at all! And our—our child would still be alive!”

Luminara recoiled from his accusing, furious eyes. Her anger vanished, replaced by a deep misery and hopelessness. She felt… empty and so very alone. “Fine. You win. It’s my fault. Now, get out.”

Obi-Wan’s face cycled from anger to shock to guilt to misery. “Luminara, I-I don’t—I didn’t—”

Her voice turned hard. “I said get out.”

The man gazed uncertainly at her for a moment, eyes still fluctuating between guilt and anger. Finally, he simply nodded. Then, Obi-Wan Kenobi got up and walked out of her life.

_______

Obi-Wan sucked in frantic exhales as he entered the compound. He tried to calm his nerves and then called out, “Luminara? Are you here?”

Only silence greeted him.

He tried again. “The healer said you’d left against his advice. Please. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean what I said. I don’t blame you. I came back to tell you and you were gone. _Please,_ talk to me.”

There was still no response.

Obi-Wan moved deeper into the building, toward the living quarters at the back. Things didn’t look right. Specific items were missing. A feeling of dread hit him and he rushed into her quarters. “Luminara, please no.”

A frantic scan confirmed his worst fears. She had left him. Obi-Wan slumped into the wall, feeling despair and regret wash over him. It would be impossible to find her, if she didn’t want him to. And, even if he could, what would he say? He had failed her completely.

No, he needed to accept the truth. Obi-Wan had lost her and he was never getting her back. And, he didn't deserve to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, this hurt. It's hard for me to tell if people will come down on one side or the other here, in terms of blame. But, if you do, that's ok. I hope to change your mind in future chapters--possibly, multiple times. This is definitely not over. There have to be catalysts for people to become who they end up being, so to speak. 
> 
> Also, I really enjoyed developing the queen a bit more. I tried to show more of who she truly is--when she isn't being a queen, but rather a friend. And, use it to move Luminara's emotional growth forward, before I... um, completely crushed her soul.
> 
> [Timeline: Both are age 26 here.]


	5. Storms of Loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan and Luminara deal with the aftermath of loss in their own ways.  
> The queen shines brightly, even in the darkness.

Luminara watched the gang of children as they clumsily moved through her compound. Her first inclination was to step out of the shadows and terrorize them into never attempting to rob her again. Then, she inhaled sharply. The smallest child was a Mirialan, a rare sight. Luminara had rarely met anyone from her own species. They were scattered and few.

A teenaged Dathomirian girl with a harsh, yet intelligent, face followed the child closely. The older girl maintained a wary gaze for unexpected attacks and directed the small Mirialan’s attention to a table of assorted items. Clearly, this was the gang’s leader.

Luminara watched as the child correctly assessed objects of value. She was nine years old at most, but seemed to have an instinctive ability to take in her environment and moved in a lithe, fluid manner. Her young face radiated intense concentration, until it became excitedly distracted by the inking cotura. It was obvious the girl had no family as her face was clear with no ritual tattoos. The young Mirialan probably felt empty and alone. The thought pinged Luminara’s heart with uncomfortable familiarity and she quickly pushed it away.

Then, an idea flashed into existence. Luminara had never had an apprentice before. The more she considered it, the more it appealed to her. But, she needed more data. Creeping to her pre-set security lines, Luminara triggered the release mechanism for the doors.

The child panicked. The older girl calmed her and directed her toward the lock, which the younger girl disabled efficiently. Pleased with the adaptable nature and receptivity to instruction, Luminara moved toward the exit to see how events unfolded. She was not disappointed. Capturing the child would be the most effective strategy. But, an unwilling apprentice was no apprentice at all. Luminara would offer her a choice. If the girl truly wanted to go back to a terrible life, alone on the streets of Coruscant, she would let her leave. But, first, she had to show the young Mirialan the reality of her situation and present the offer.

Slipping the hood over her head, Luminara finally revealed herself. She spoke coldly to the gang leader, “Leave the smallest child behind and you can go.” She noticed her new apprentice did not react and continued working on the complicated locking mechanism for the exit. The girl clearly had incredible focus and discipline. That was also good.

The older girl stood protectively in front of the child. “Why? What do you want with her?”

Luminara was surprised that a hardened gang leader, even a young one, would take such an interest. Perhaps, she realized the child’s value to their group. No loyalty or compassion could be involved. The teenager would not have survived this long, or maintained control of a gang, by giving in to those kinds of emotions. Dialing up the intimidation in her voice, Luminara replied, “That is not your concern. You have a choice. You and the rest of your group may leave unharmed with my stolen property. Or, you can keep the child and you all die.” She had no intention of killing children. However, her reputation was a powerful weapon for persuasion.

The hardened, defiant gaze of the young leader wavered. She quickly surveyed the area, looking for options. Her face fell as she realized the impossibility of escaping unharmed. Yet, the girl continued to hesitate, glancing uncertainly between the still feverishly working child and Luminara. “Tell me why you want her, first.”

Luminara raised an eyebrow to herself. Perhaps, she had been wrong about the leader’s practicality and intelligence. “You have some skill, but you and your group are no match for me. Even if the girl opens the door, I will activate countermeasures in the surrounding alleyway. Reaching the outside will only mean death for you all.” She paused, before adding, “I do not plan to harm the child.”

There was a long silence and then a regretful, defeated voice said, “Very well. You have a deal.”

At the same time, the door suddenly released and the child flipped around in happiness, flush with her success.

The older girl grimaced painfully. “Sorry, kid.” Then, she knocked the child to the ground and motioned for the others to run.

Luminara reactivated the mechanism and the door slammed shut. Her instinct was to grab the now panicking girl and tell her she wasn’t going to hurt her. But, Luminara stopped herself. If she did this, it would be without emotion or attachment. Those things only created pain. Her apprentice would never feel pain.

_______

“What the bloody force happened?” Her voice was furious.

Obi-Wan simply stared at the wall of his sitting room in silent misery.

A hand gripped his shoulder as she sat down next to him. “Obi-Wan, talk to me. When did she leave? How long have you been sitting here like this? How long were you going to stay sitting here, if I hadn’t come and found you?”

He shrugged vacantly. He didn’t know the answer to any of those questions.

Suddenly, an elegant yet forceful hand slapped him across the face. “Snap out of it!” Her voice had taken on the regal authority of a queen who expected to be obeyed.

Obi-Wan jerked in shock and finally looked at her. There was rare fear in her eyes. He stuttered, “It’s—I don't…”

The fear receded at getting a response and her penetrating gaze probed his face. “Something happened to the baby.”

He nodded weakly.

She squeezed her eyes shut painfully. “When?”

Obi-Wan’s tried to reply, voice hoarsely breaking, “I don’t—three months, four? I… don’t know.”

Her eyes flashed open and she fixed him with a fierce gaze. “You didn’t listen to me. I told you if anything ever went wrong to have faith in yourself.”

Blinking rapidly, he said, “What does it matter now? She’s already gone. I already failed.”

An exasperated breath blew through clenched teeth. “Obi-Wan, _everything_ matters now.”

He stared at her blankly.

The woman abruptly pulled him to her chest, stroking his head tenderly. “You’re not alone, Obi-Wan. I'll never let you be alone. We're family, remember? Please, tell me what happened.”

_______

“I am very disappointed,” the voice said menacingly.

Luminara stared impassively back at the cloaked figure. “Understandable. However, it was unavoidable.”

“When I hire the best, I expect results.”

“Again, understandable. However, the failure is not insurmountable. You’re payment has been returned and you are free to find another option. Though, be warned, the Queen of Shili is not an easy target. Also, I strongly suspect that she is aware of her life being under threat, making success improbable for anyone. In fact, I would respectfully submit you rethink your approach altogether. I imagine there is a better way to reach your goals than by killing her.”

The hood stared back at her, a tangible evil emanating from his presence.

Luminara shivered slightly, but maintained her impassive expression, trying to project more confidence than she felt.

Finally, the voice spoke again, disdain dripping with every word, “Thank you, _Master_ Unduli, for your words of wisdom. Now, leave me.”

She nodded and walked quickly out the door.

_______

As Luminara entered the compound, she wrapped her arms tightly around her stomach, knowing she could never kill the shining woman who had been her friend. More than that, Luminara had compounded her weakness by sending the queen a warning about the threat. The spymaster had broken her own code, compromising her professional integrity for possibly the first time. She had even briefly considered showing up in Shili to ensure the woman took precautions. But, Luminara couldn’t face her. The woman probably hated her now. And, for some reason, that disturbed her immensely. Misery and loss rose up within her and she had to focus intensely to push them away.

No matter how hard she tried, Luminara couldn’t eliminate the emotions that made her weak. Now, they had cost her a valuable client and damage to her reputation. If he chose to share her failure with others, it could also impact her livelihood. Yet, Luminara had done it anyway. Attachment won out over duty… again. However, she still had trouble regretting the choice.

A small voice interrupted her thoughts, “Master? Are you alright?”

Luminara spun quickly to see the child’s concerned face. “Yes, of course.” She leveled a stern gaze on her apprentice. “And, why should you care if I was not?”

The girl gulped and responded tentatively, “You provide for my well-being and my training. It is only logical that I should ensure you remain in sound health and mind.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Very good, Barriss. Now, let us resume our stealth exercises.”

Luminara Unduli may be weak, but she would ensure that Barriss would never be.

_______

“I have three new leads for you from the Shili intelligence networks. One in Naboo,” she said encouragingly, “and two in Dantooine.”

Obi-Wan smiled weakly at her. “You are nothing if not persistent.”

“My dear, I’m not the Queen of Shili for nothing.” Her eyes glinted mischievously.

He gave her a small grin. “You’d be the same if you were a farmer in Tatooine.”

“Ah, how do you know I wasn’t?” she asked innocently.

Obi-Wan said wryly, “Um, I met you when you were fourteen.”

“That’s fourteen years of life you don’t know about!”

This time, he couldn’t hold back the laugh. “You’ve got me there.”

Her blue eyes shined brilliantly, obviously delighted at managing to get a laugh out of him. “That’s more like it. I have to lead the royal hunt in two days,” she groaned in annoyance, “or, I’d go with you now. But, I want you to start in Naboo and I’ll meet you in Dantooine after I’m finished.”

Obi-Wan’s throat tightened. “Are you sure this is still a good idea? It's been nearly two years and our search has led nowhere. She obviously doesn’t want to be found. You didn’t see her face. You don’t seem to understand what I did.”

The woman sat down next to him on the settee and put both hands on his face. “Obi-Wan, look at me.”

He dragged his eyes to hers reluctantly.

“I do understand. I also know that one mistake does not have to be the end of everything. It’s compounding mistakes that causes problems. I don’t know what will happen when we find her. It may work out. Or, it may not. But, you have to try. You have to keep believing. If you don’t, you will both be lost. Do you understand?”

“Not really. But, when has that ever stopped me from listening to you?” He tried a small grin.

She smiled softly at him and removed her hands from his face. “Well, I suppose that’s the best I’m going to get.” She paused for a moment, expression getting slightly distant. “Just don’t forget what I told you about having faith. If anything ever… happens to me, I want to make sure you remember it.”

His insides revolted and he took her hand, gripping tightly. “What does that mean? Nothing is going to happen to you.”

The woman gazed at him sadly and seemed to hesitate. Then, she suddenly grinned. “Of course not. Still, that doesn’t mean you shouldn't listen to me.”

Obi-Wan stared at her, feeling like she was holding something back. “Is something wrong? What’s going on?”

Her smile was a little too bright. “Nothing, my dear. Sometimes, I just worry about the people I love is all. Now, have we got a deal? I’ll see you in Dantooine?”

A feeling of anxious worry was filling his mind. Something was wrong and she wasn’t telling him. Obi-Wan knew from experience that arguing with her was pointless. Still, he tried one more time. “You can tell me anything, you know. I’m here for you, as well. You’re my family, remember? You’re… all I’ve got.”

Her eyes brightened and she gave him a shining smile. “I know, my dear. I tell you what—meet me in Dantooine and I’ll tell you all about it?” Her expression turned challenging.

Obi-Wan chuckled ruefully. “You are impossible. Alright, it’s a deal.”

The woman laid her head against his shoulder and laughed happily. “Good.”

_______

The sun was setting as Obi-Wan sat unmoving on the dirty steps of the Dantooine council building, parchment clasped in his hand. He crushed the message tighter and tighter in his fist, destroying its horrible existence. His eyes closed desperately, trying to make its contents disappear from his very mind. The harder he tried the more the words floated ominously, like storm clouds bringing the end of everything.

_… regret to inform you… Queen killed in royal hunt… Sovereign Master has requested your presence… deepest condolences…_

World collapsing around him, Obi-Wan Kenobi opened his eyes and watched the sun fade away, until the light was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, this chapter. It is not often that I literally make myself cry when I write something. Tearing up, maybe, but outright crying over something as I write it?! I had trouble editing it, because of that. It seems almost crazy to me that something I created could make me so sad. I mean, I made this up, I should know it isn't real, right? I'm shaking my head as I confess this. I really have no idea whether it will hit anyone else this way or not. If I did my job, it should. Though, I never claimed to be a good writer. Still, I hope I'm not the only one crying. I really will think there is something wrong with me. 
> 
> Alright, confession over. The only other thing to say is... RIP my magnificent queen.
> 
> [Timeline: Age 26-28]  
> [Main story events referenced: Chapter 4, 14]


	6. Failure Compounded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan tries to find a way to move on, again and again.  
> Luminara continues down a destructive path, again and again.
> 
> [Note: This chapter covers about 13 years. Several events from the main story are referenced. If you don't want spoilers or I haven't explained things well enough, go to Part 1 of this series and then come back.]

“Tell me you didn’t do this…” His voice was desperately pleading.

Luminara gazed at him impassively, tamping down conflicting feelings. “What would you do if I did?”

Obi-Wan’s face fluctuated with emotions, but his reply was flat, “I would take you to Shili to face justice.”

“In that case, I am unlikely to admit anything, aren’t I?”

Anger flashed in his eyes, but was replaced by deep sadness. “The woman I knew could never murder a friend, someone who showed her nothing but kindness, for any reason.”

She met his eyes defiantly. “Perhaps, you never knew me at all. Or, perhaps, you never really wanted to know. This _is_ who I am. Do you understand?”

An unreadable expression in his eyes, Obi-Wan murmured softly, “I never understood many things.”

Her heart reverberated painfully and bitterness washed over her. “As I thought. Your faith was always a lie, wasn’t it? Fortunately, I realized it in enough time to correct my mistakes. I promise you, I will never be that weak ever again.”

His face registered shock. “Luminara, please, that is not what I meant—”

She interrupted him coldly, “Is there anything else, Master Kenobi?”

Obi-Wan gazed painfully at her and then seemed to steel himself, asking firmly, “Did you kill her? Answer my question and I will go.”

Luminara considered. If the truth was the best way to get him to leave, that is what she would give him. “I suppose it doesn’t really matter. No, I did not kill her. As I recall, the reports said she died in the royal hunt.” Her heart stung with something that felt like pain and regret, but she ignored it.

His expression flattened. “Yes, that’s what they said. But, there is no way the most accomplished hunter I’ve ever known would have been taken down by a lone Acklay. So, I investigated and found there was a contract out on her life. My contact suggested _you_ as being the most likely agent for such a well-staged assassination. It has taken me nearly a year to find you.”

“All of that work, just so you could ask me whether I murdered your friend?” Luminara smiled mirthlessly. “It’s nice to know your faith in me is unwavering.”

Obi-Wan winced at the accusation. “That is not what this is about.”

“Anything else?” she asked him evenly. Luminara knew his faith—his love—had been a lie. This merely confirmed it. However, the confirmation was causing stabbing pain to pulsate through her. She desperately needed him to leave before it became too difficult to control.

He suddenly shot forward and grabbed her hand. “I’m sorry. I don’t—please. I didn’t just come about her. I thought you didn’t want to be found, but then I knew I needed to try. Let me try to make things right. This is not you. I _know_ it isn’t. I do have faith in you. I always have.”

Her thoughts started spinning and she jerked her hand away from him. Pain, guilt, and grief rushed through her like a tidal wave. No, she refused to be weak ever again. Panic was setting in. Panic would lead to fear. Fear would lead to failure. She wouldn't let it. Slamming her eyes shut, Luminara rapidly reasserted her control, until she finally felt… outside of herself. Calm. Objective. Master of her world. She opened her eyes and replied icily, “No. You haven’t. And, I’m the better for it. Now, leave.”

Obi-Wan gazed at her, deep misery etched along every line of his face. Finally, he nodded and walked out of her life for a second time.

And, Luminara Unduli felt… nothing.

_______

Staring at the wall didn’t help. Obi-Wan did it anyway. He didn’t know how long it took for him to realize he was completely alone—that no one was coming to help him. Obi-Wan knew he needed to help himself. Still, he kept staring.

Luminara’s cold, unrecognizable expression assaulted his mind once again. He banished it quickly, guilt coursing through him as he did so. Obi-Wan couldn’t bear to see it. His mind accepted that he had lost her. But, his heart refused to accept the hurt that went with it. She was gone, but he would never let her go. So, he simply pushed her away.

Another face replaced it. An endearing grin paired with fierce, blue eyes. The image whispered, “Obi-Wan, please, you have to let me go.” He jerked as his heart pulsed with pain. No, he would never let either of them go. Never.

He knew he needed to get up, needed to do something. But, he couldn’t. It hurt. Getting up would mean letting them go—facing the hurt, accepting the pain, forgetting them. So, Obi-Wan simply stared at the wall.

Then, another image swam into view—a nine-year old girl, cypher-wood bow in her hands, looking at him hopefully with her mother’s eyes. “Master Kenobi, will you help me? There’s no one left to teach me.” He suddenly realized the brief interaction with Ahsoka after her mother’s death was the only time he had been happy, since he had lost everything.

Obi-Wan sucked in a harsh breath as he found the answer. He could get up. And, he wouldn’t have to let anyone go to do it. There wouldn’t be a need to face the hurt, to forget. Not, if they were his purpose. Obi-Wan Kenobi would become the person his family had needed—the man they believed he was, not the man who had failed them. And, he knew exactly where to start.

_______

As Barriss finished her combat routine, Luminara felt a rush of pride at the girl’s superior skills. At fifteen, she already had more talent and discipline than some masters exhibited. Luminara quickly banished the unwelcome emotion. If she wasn’t careful, she might become attached to Barriss. And, that would be disastrous for both of them. “Disappointing. You were an inch off-center in your delivery of the roundhouse kick. Do it again.”

The girl’s face fell, but she only nodded and began again.

Luminara Unduli steeled her resolve. Barriss would never feel the pain of attachment or the weakness of loss. Barriss would be strong.

_______

Obi-Wan gave the teenaged girl an encouraging smile. “Try it again. You can do it.”

Ahsoka glanced at him in disbelief, bow hanging limply at her side, lekku twitching nervously. “Master, I think you overestimate my abilities.”

“Not possible.”

She sighed and tried again, this time missing the target completely. Ahsoka threw the bow across the yard and slumped angrily to the ground. “I told you.”

He exhaled heavily and sat next to her. “Ahsoka, I know you feel frustrated. But, current skill makes no difference to the final outcome. Mastering the bow takes persistence, but it also takes faith in yourself. If you think you will fail, you always will.”

The girl glanced at him warily. “I understand what you’re saying. I just don’t think I’m cut out for this kind of thing is all. I don’t have the discipline or the patience or something. I may be the daughter of one of the greatest hunters in the history of Shili, but I am definitely no archer.”

Obi-Wan smiled. “It’s alright. You don’t have to master it, if you don’t want to. Don’t do it for me. Or, because you think you are failing your mother’s memory. She would only want you to be happy in whatever you chose. If you truly don’t want to, then don’t. There is no shame in that. I only want you to understand that you are capable of it. You, my dear, are capable of anything, when you choose to believe in it.”

She grinned diffidently. “Ok, I’ll think about it. You have a lot of faith in me, you know. I’m not sure I deserve it.”

He met her eyes intently. “Yes, you do. So, you might as well give that idea up right now.”

Ahsoka gave him a happy smile and leaned against his shoulder. “Thanks. Though, really, I think you’re the one that can do anything.”

Obi-Wan heard unbidden misery creeping into this voice, “Afraid not, my dear. I have failed many times. Sometimes, I have failed in terrible ways.”

She lifted her head and said fiercely, “Not possible. You can make anything work.”

Smiling sadly, he replied, “You have boundless faith in people, Ahsoka. If you ever—well, try to remember that.”

“Um, ok. What?”

Obi-Wan brushed an affectionate hand over her confused face. “You are capable of unconditional faith in others. This is a rare gift. And, I just want you to remember that it’s important. Never let it go. Because, one day, you’ll meet someone special enough to deserve you. No matter what happens or how you feel—don’t lose faith in them or in yourself.”

She was still gazing at him strangely, but nodded.  

Shaking himself out of his reverie, Obi-Wan said lightly, “Well, enough of my eccentric ramblings. Shall we get some lunch, before I have to leave?”

Ahsoka’s face fell. “I wish you didn’t have to go. I just got back from the front and I haven’t seen you in months!”

“I know and I’m sorry. But, I am a roaming negotiator after all. The man without a home…” he ended with a melancholy smile. Obi-Wan didn’t know why he was so self-pitying today. Probably, because he didn’t want to leave her either. Or, perhaps, spending time with Ahsoka reminded him of life before… everything.

The girl grabbed his hand tightly. “That’s not true. Home is with the people who love you and make you happy. It’s where your family is. And, _I’m_ right here.” She gave him an engaging grin that reminded Obi-Wan so much of her mother.

He laughed and squeezed her hand in return. “Very true, my dear. And, you definitely make me happy. Unfortunately, duty calls. I’m needed for trade talks in Malastare. Then, I have to head to Naboo and, eventually, to Chandrila. If you get bored, you can always come and visit me.”

Ahsoka grinned mischievously. “Be careful, I might hold you to that promise.”

Obi-Wan’s mind slipped into a painful memory, before he quickly refocused and smiled at her warmly. “I’m counting on it.”

_______

Luminara Unduli had failed. Her apprentice had left her. All the years of training to make the girl strong, make her unstoppable, had been for nothing. Barriss hadn’t been able to take the final step. Luminara contemplated her mistakes.

Where had she gone wrong? Barriss probably still had some small attachment to that young warrior she had met in Shili years ago. Could that have caused issues during the mission? Perhaps, Luminara should have given the girl an easier first assassination, instead of a Sovereign Master. She probably should have had Barriss complete one when she was younger. Twenty-one was, maybe, too late to learn. Luminara had been forced to do so at a much younger age than Barriss. Apprenticeship usually involved one before the age of fifteen. Even knowing that, she had still put it off. Why?

A sudden fear surfaced. Had she hoped the girl would fail? Hoped Barriss would choose a different destiny? Had Luminara avoided it for so long because she was attached—no, that was impossible. Luminara Unduli didn’t get attached. She had found out the dangers of that long ago. No, she was simply upset at the years of work wasted. That such a talented girl would throw away her chance at greatness was objectively to be pitied.

Still, Luminara couldn’t deny the compound felt empty without Barriss. A gaping maw of despair crept ever larger inside her. Then, a deep, lonely misery suddenly flooded her soul. It was something she hadn’t felt since… Luminara shook her head violently, closing her eyes and desperately regaining control.

Her mind calmed and she felt outside of herself once more. It was time to report her failure to the only client she had ever failed before. Barriss had apparently warned the target. It would be nearly impossible to gain access to Shili and complete the mission in the immediate future—for anyone. The client would be seriously displeased. And, Luminara knew there would be hell to pay.

_______

Obi-Wan gazed in anguish at the ruins of Shili, death and destruction filling his senses. He picked his way through the wreckage carefully, looking hopefully for signs of life and unwillingly for confirmation of his deepest fears.

The first confirmation was swift and expected. The Sovereign Master was dead. Someone had buried him with a small marker near the castle gates. Obi-Wan briefly wondered who could have done so. Perhaps, there had been survivors who had now fled the area.

He stood mournfully in front of the ruler’s final resting place, hoping the broken spirit that had never recovered from his wife’s death was now at peace. Obi-Wan deeply understood, though he wished the man had chosen a different path. His children had needed him. And, now they were lost.

Obi-Wan already knew where one was and shut his eyes in pain. Anakin Skywalker had been lost to evil. He had failed Anakin. He had failed his mother.

Struggling to regain control, Obi-Wan continued his miserable wade through the destruction. There was only one person he desperately needed to find. Searching more and more frantically in vain, he finally had to face the terrible reality. The destruction, the debris, the dead were too heavy, too deep, too much for him alone to search everything. He couldn't find her. But, Obi-Wan knew she had to be here.

There was no scenario in which Ahsoka would have stood by, while this had happened. Her faith in her brother was overwhelming in its intensity. However, her dedication to justice, defending the innocent, and protecting those she loved was stronger still. Ahsoka would never have joined Anakin, though she might have been incapable of killing him. Nor would she have retreated, even if the battle was lost. Her very soul would have refused to abandon anyone to this horrible fate.

No, Obi-Wan Kenobi knew the truth he didn’t want to accept. Ahsoka Tano was dead and he had failed his family again.

_______

Obi-Wan placed Padmé’s child into the arms of his new foster family and slowly walked away to begin a new life. A life dedicated to penance, protection, and faith. This time, he refused to fail.

_______

Luminara limped weakly back into the compound, desperation and loneliness seeping into her soul.

A voice spoke unexpectedly from the darkness, “You have failed me again.”

Twisting around in surprise, she felt gut-wrenching pain shoot through the fresh wound in her side. Barriss should have killed her. The girl could have. But, she hadn’t. Perhaps, Luminara’s terrible client would do it for her. Straightening painfully, she said, “It appears so.”

The cloaked visage appeared from the shadows and seemed to regard her curiously. An almost amused voice came from the hood, “You seem to have problems with the Royal House of Shili.”

She raised an eyebrow. “I don’t understand.”

A twisted chuckle echoed over the compound. “The Togruta warrior I sent you to capture—the one who has joined forces with your wayward apprentice—is Ahsoka Tano, former Princess of Shili. Given that, over the years, you have managed to successfully execute every task I have given you, except for now _three_ notable exceptions related to the House of Shili, I have to ask myself why.”

Images of a wide-eyed child looking up at her swam in front of Luminara’s eyes—memories from before… everything. Apparently, her apprentice had fallen in love with not just an exceptional warrior, but a royal one. One that came from a woman Luminara respected and had even once called a friend. And, one that had displayed unshakeable faith in Barriss. For some reason, all of that pleased Luminara immensely.

She replied forcefully, “You are welcome to kill me or procure someone else. However, no one will be able to complete this mission. I had considerable difficulty tracking them. Only my superior knowledge of Barriss’ techniques allowed me to find them. Even then, together, they are a formidable team. If you are able to find them, it would take more than your army to take them down. I think, my lord, you are unlikely to be successful in doing so. Ever.” Luminara felt an unexplainable rush of pride in the statement and faced him defiantly.

He responded in cold amusement, “I am not in the habit of showing mercy to people who fail me repeatedly. However, you speak the truth. Ahsoka Tano is a difficult target. She does have a weakness, but I did not expect success from a direct assault. I have other methods at my disposal. However, I was interested in your level of failure, given past events. I am glad to see my expectations were met. As to your life, since there are no longer any royals of Shili left, you may be of future use to me.”

It appeared she would live another day. Luminara Unduli wasn’t sure if that made her relieved or miserable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, this was a lot to cover! The entire idea, though, was to explore Obi-Wan and Luminara's different ways of dealing with loss and feelings of failure, amid events that accompany Palpatine's rise to power. 
> 
> I like to think this world's Obi-Wan became the man he is through his total dedication to being the person he thought his family had needed--a man of faith, reflection, and wisdom. In other words, he threw himself into his work. They both kind of use different versions of denial, sublimation, rationalization, etc. One approach seems to be better than the other. Though, I'm not sure if either one is truly happy. Of course, Obi-Wan's method enriches his 'padawan' vs. Luminara's destructive influence on hers.
> 
> [Timeline: Age 29-42]  
> [Main story references: Chapters 9, 12, 14, 17]


	7. Failure in Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five years later, Obi-Wan and Luminara finally realize their true failures.

Sadness shined from the uncomfortably familiar, fierce blue eyes. “You know her so well, and clearly care about her on some level, yet you worked so hard to make her unhappy. Why?”

Luminara’s mind froze. How had she made Barriss unhappy? Certainly, she had pushed her to extremes and demanded perfection. But, that had been to make the girl strong. She felt an inexplicable need to justify herself. “I was trying to make her better, to keep her from failure and pain.”

“By instilling the idea that she was a failure in her mind and, therefore, creating constant pain?” Ahsoka shot back, sudden fire appearing in the haunting eyes.

There was a stinging throb in her chest. Reigning in the unexpectedly strong reaction, Luminara replied calmly, “That was not the intention.”

Ahsoka slowly nodded. “Perhaps not. But, it _was_ the outcome. Something to think about.” She paused for a long moment and then added, “Can I give you some advice? Weigh the risks of you being wrong, not just about Barriss, but about everything. And, if the odds are in my favor, do something about it. It's too late to change the past, but there is always a future you can make better.”

Luminara considered for a moment. The suggestion on its face was not unreasonable. Reassessment was always logical. And, if Ahsoka was correct, she had not only failed with Barriss, but had also led her to the same pain she wished her to avoid. However, the idea of truly examining her philosophy was creating acute fear. Pushing it away, Luminara tried to refocus on Ahsoka, but abruptly thought of a day long ago and a child in her arms, gazing up at her. She struggled to form a response. The only words that came were, “You are an unusual person, Ahsoka Tano.”

The girl grinned. “I've heard that before.” Then, Ahsoka's expression turned fierce. “However, understand that my only concern is Barriss. If you interfere with her happiness, we're going to have issues. I think she's in a place that would welcome some kind of relationship with you, but only if it's supportive of who she is now and recognizes past mistakes. So, if you choose to take my advice, be ready to build a different future, not recreate the past.”

Now, Luminara’s emotions churned intensely as control rapidly slipped away. She needed this conversation to end. “Very well. I'll… think about it.”

Ahsoka nodded and made her way out of the alleyway, presumably to tell Barriss of the Felucian raid being a trap. They'd go through with it anyway. And, there was nothing Luminara could do about it. She had stolen Palpatine’s plans and now delivered them, along with the warning. But, she couldn’t stop any of it from happening. And, that… scared her. Even worse, Ahsoka’s accusation that Luminara had tormented Barriss was producing anger and misery, layered with waves of inexplicable guilt. While, the idea that Barriss might be willing to rebuild their relationship was creating intense hope.

Luminara’s breathing became erratic as the powerful emotions rolled through her. She shook her head violently and started to close the door on the feelings, to retreat outside of herself. Then, Ahsoka’s challenge floated through her mind. Luminara Unduli decided. This time, she would take the risk and ascertain the source.  
  
The answer came quickly and decidedly, as if she had always known it. Despite her best efforts, despite convincing herself otherwise for years, she was… attached to Barriss. Luminara loved the girl like she was her own. And, she desperately wanted to see her again, to be a part of her life.

Suddenly, something inside exploded as fear, anger, joy, and misery rushed through her, crashing against carefully constructed barriers and ripping them apart. Her mind couldn’t control it or stop it. So, Luminara slid down the wall, curled into herself, and released torrents of tears.

_______

Obi-Wan jerked awake in a cold sweat, trembling uncontrollably. Something terrible was happening. He didn’t know what, but he knew it was true. Jumping from the bed, he pulled on his clothes and sprinted out of his small abode. Obi-Wan didn’t stop until he reached Luke’s home, scanning the area frantically. There was nothing. Everything was calm and peaceful. The family was routinely shutting down the farm for the night. Luke’s young laughter floated out of the workshop.

He exhaled in relief and slumped against the side of the fencing. Then, his mind filled with confusion. What was happening? Obi-Wan tried to think of other possibilities. It didn’t make sense. There was nothing left for him to lose.

Out of nowhere, Luminara’s face blazed into existence. An image of her surrounded by fiery destruction, deep misery in her eyes, blurred into focus as a terrible scream echoed through his ears painfully. His body recoiled from the heart-wrenching sensation.

That was when Obi-Wan realized there was something left to lose. He thought he had lost her long ago. It was easier to think she was lost, instead of accepting the horrible truth. He hadn’t let her go, but he had given her up. For over twenty years, he had failed to follow his own advice to Ahsoka—the advice her mother had given him. He hadn’t kept trying, kept believing. It had hurt too much. He had compounded one mistake into hundreds.

Obi-Wan had always known he had failed, but he had never understood what his true failure actually was—until now. The realization made him shudder violently. What could he do about it? The answer came immediately. He would find her. Even, if it tore apart his heart in the process. Even, if the woman he loved had become something unrecognizable. Even, if she hated him.

He couldn’t leave Luke unprotected for long, and it was dangerous for him to venture too close to Coruscant. Still, he would figure out a way. If it took him the rest of his life, Obi-Wan Kenobi would correct his mistakes.

_______

Luminara watched the battle for the Felucian village unfold before her. Ahsoka was a masterful warrior, but Palpatine’s enforcer was making inroads. It almost seemed as if the girl’s heart wasn’t really in it. A fact Luminara found unsurprising. She knew who the enforcer was. However, Ahsoka was still delaying him admirably, while the others evacuated the civilians and fought off the rest of Palpatine’s forces.

It looked as if it might work, when… everything stopped, as if time itself was paralyzed in the moment. Ahsoka Tano fell to the ground with what had to be a mortal wound. Careening in shock, Luminara abruptly realized how much faith she had put into the girl triumphing.

Barriss’ terrible scream echoed around the village. Luminara’s heart broke for the agony in her girl’s voice. In that moment, Luminara knew she would do literally anything to make it better. Then, her heart curdled in overwhelming fear as Barriss charged the enforcer with furious force.

Body shifting automatically into motion, Luminara left her position in the trees surrounding the village and approached carefully. Barriss was doing exceedingly well. The emotions the girl had released were fueling her drive toward the enforcer. And, for a moment, Luminara thought she would have him. Then, Barriss halted, shock and pain on her face, and fell to the ground.

Luminara’s soul filled with horrible dread as she lost all pretense of stealth and raced toward the combatants. She heard Ahsoka’s battalion captain from Shili yelling in anguish and running toward them, as well. Luminara leapt at the enforcer, scimitar striking. He was lightning fast in his recovery, however, and immediately turned his attention from Barriss to her.

The captain reached them and Luminara took a moment to tell him to run, to get Barriss to safety. The man only hesitated for a second, before scooping the girl up in his arms. She added, “Tell her… tell her she was right. About everything.” Luminara should have said she loved her, or she was sorry, or something more meaningful. But, her mind was in disarray and it was all she could manage. It would have to do.

Pulling the enforcer away from the retreating rebels, she worked her way through the fiery destruction surrounding them. As she dodged and weaved out of the enforcer’s grasp, Obi-Wan’s face flashed into her mind. That was when Luminara suddenly knew the truth she had tried so hard to repress in years of torment. She still loved him. She still wanted to believe he loved her. But, she had lost him. And, she would never get him back.

Their child was gone. He was gone. Barriss was gone. Luminara had… nothing. Her life meant nothing without them in it. And, she deserved to have nothing. Wave after wave of guilt and misery flowed over her. Her movements became sluggish, the scimitar unbearably heavy in her arms.

Luminara Unduli decided. It was time to face her fate. She would finally get what she deserved.

_______

Obi-Wan collapsed weakly onto his bed in desperate misery. The joy at having Ahsoka back from the dead and in his life again had been yanked away. The girl's unwitting words had shattered his heart into painful shards.

_“The woman who raised her, her master… sacrificed herself to allow Rex time to escape with Barriss… Unduli saved her…”_

She had left him… forever. He hadn’t realized how much he had clung to the idea of one day making amends, until this moment. Now, even that hope was lost to him. Laying paralyzed by grief, chaotic thoughts flew through his mind.

Luminara had raised a child, had tried to fill the void, and had done a terrible job of it. She had needed him. And, he hadn’t been there. Then, she had sacrificed herself for that child, which could only mean one thing. The woman he loved had never really been gone. And, Obi-Wan hadn’t done a thing about it, until it was already too late. He recognized now what his vision two years ago must have meant. She had been dying at the exact moment he had realized his mistakes.

The familiar feelings Obi-Wan hadn’t understood when he had met Barriss suddenly solidified. The quirking eyebrow, the dry humor, the deeply hidden emotions, the incredible discipline, the overwhelming sense of duty… she was Luminara’s child over and over again. His Luminara—the woman he knew, not the one she had pretended to be. Barriss had managed to take in the good and expel the bad. And, Obi-Wan knew why. The answer was obvious. Barriss had someone who believed in her. Someone who gave her faith in herself. Someone who loved her with no reservations. She had Ahsoka. And, Ahsoka’s boundless faith had never given up on her.

Hot tears seared his face and soul. He had failed Luminara utterly and completely. And, it was too late to do anything about it.

Obi-Wan laid on his bed in painful misery, until light started streaming in his windows. Gazing vacantly at the warm beams as they flowed into the room, he imagined Luminara’s face behind them, smiling at him, telling him she wanted everything from him. He hadn’t given it. But, he wouldn’t fail her again. Obi-Wan rose from his bed and took a deep breath, pushing the hurt away.

Barriss was still here. He would take care of her as if she was his own. Because, she could have been. And, now, she would be.

_______

Luminara Unduli lay wrapped in chains and silent misery. A misery she deserved. One day the Emperor would finally decide to end her suffering. It was the only hope she had left. When the end came, she would have many regrets—true failures she could have corrected, but didn’t.

One was Barriss. Why had she waited so long to realize how much the girl mattered to her? What had she done to her child—because that's what Barriss was, what she'd always been—in her delusional madness? Why hadn’t she told the girl she loved her, even once? Barriss had kept her going, given her hope. Luminara hadn’t recognized it then, but she knew it now. Without Barriss, she would have been lost completely.

Luminara desperately wanted the girl to know how special she was. At least, Ahsoka would have told Barriss that, probably often. Ahsoka had been her mother’s child through and through. And, there was some comfort in that. Even after losing Ahsoka, she was certain that Barriss would still thrive. Her girl was stronger than Luminara had ever been.

Her regret drifted to Obi-Wan as she thought back to words uttered so long ago, _“I’m not sure you are capable of the faith required.”_ Her friend had been correct, after all. Luminara had lost faith with the man she loved. He had been overcome with grief and she had thought only of her own. She had let her faith die and had run away, turning herself into something else—something horrible. Luminara had piled mistake on top of mistake, achieving complete and utter failure.

Obi-Wan had needed her and she hadn’t been there. Luminara Unduli wept quietly, knowing she would never get to tell him.

_______

Barriss gazed at him, tears trailing down her face, as they sat together in the long grass outside the rebel base.

Obi-Wan finished his story of failure, but couldn’t look at her. Instead, he stared out to the distant horizon, fighting against the grief welling up inside of him. It hurt.

A slender hand touched his face and a soft voice said, “It’s not your fault, you know.”

His head whipped back to her with astonishment. “I think you missed the part where I told you how my failure led to Luminara’s eventual destruction.”

Barriss raised her other hand and gripped both sides of his face. “Listen to me. You both made mistakes—understandable ones, given the circumstances. Grief and loss compounded with grief and loss. But, that doesn’t make it your fault. She was responsible for her own choices, like the rest of us. It’s something I’ve had to come to terms with myself. She didn’t make me do the things I did. I chose to do them. I am who I chose to be—just as she was who she chose to be. You taking all the blame merely takes something away from who she was.”

He shook his head, but smiled weakly at her. “You missed your calling as a philosopher.”

The grip on his face released as a grin tugged at the corners of her mouth. “Well, a rather legendary master negotiator once insisted I was looking at my regret the wrong way. He told me the choices we make, even the unwise ones, are steps along a path to make us who we are truly meant to be.” She raised a meaningful eyebrow at him.

Obi-Wan gazed back at her in amazement for a moment and then snorted. “That man must be very wise indeed. You’ll have to introduce me to him someday.”

“Maybe, I will. But, only if he promises to think about what I said.”

Placing a gentle hand on her cheek, he spoke affectionately, “For you, my darling girl, I’ll do anything.”

Barriss ducked her head, smiling shyly, and rearranged herself to lay against his chest.

Feeling a rare sense of happiness, Obi-Wan put his arm around her. “How exactly did this happen? I came out here to make you feel better. And, somehow, I’m the one getting emotional support?”

The girl laughed and snuggled further into his chest. “You aren’t the only one.”

Obi-Wan kissed the top of her head and smiled happily. “Good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, we get our first major time jump here. This also marks the first time I used actual dialog from the main story, just from another POV. I have tried to avoid this, as a general rule. However, since the conversation with Ahsoka is a pivotal moment in Luminara's growth, it needed to go in. Though, I did trim it a bit, as I only needed part of it for my purposes. Also, we are starting and will continue to see the same events overlap from different viewpoints (i.e. Ahsoka confronting the enforcer, etc.)
> 
> Now that Luminara knows who Ahsoka is, there is a difference in how they interact as opposed to their first main story confrontation. I think the difference is noticeable in the main story, even without this context. However, I could be wrong. I intended it to be, anyway, ha.
> 
> However, my favorite part might be finally hearing the aftermath of when Obi-Wan tells Barriss about Luminara in Chapter 41. Barriss certainly seemed to improve mentally in her interactions with Ahsoka after that unknown conversation in the main story. I generally just like the idea of Obi-Wan and Barriss' natural connection in the main story being explored better here.
> 
> [Timeline: Age 47-49]  
> [Main story references: Chapters 32, 33, 39, 41]


	8. Second Chances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan gets another chance to fix his mistakes.

There were shouts of alarm. “It's her! The Lady Jedi! Regroup!”

Luminara’s head shot up. It couldn’t be. She cursed her lack of vision and listened carefully. Whoever was out there was wading through soldiers like rag dolls. Hope began to blossom, but she held it back. Luminara had seen the girl die, after all.

Even if it were Ahsoka, why would she risk her life to rescue the woman who had spent years tormenting the girl she loved? The same person that had intended to deliver her to Palpatine and probably kill her in the process? No, someone else must have taken the moniker.

This was more likely a random rebel attack on a temptingly large convoy of Palpatine’s soldiers. If successful, the rebels might free her or they might kill her. It didn’t really matter. A blind woman, who could barely walk, would die one way or another soon enough. Sighing resignedly, Luminara hung her head, chains pulling against her wrists once again, to await whatever fate was to come. She deserved it.

Suddenly, the fighting was inside her cage. Luminara jerked her head up as something metal clanged in front of her and a familiar voice yelled, “Dagger at your feet. Use it.”

Ahsoka. Ahsoka was alive and… rescuing her. Why? It didn’t matter right now. Luminara maneuvered her legs to tightly leverage the handle of the dagger, flipping it up into her waiting fingers. Twisting it carefully, she slid it into the weak point of the chain joints between her wrists and slammed it back with all the force her now frail body contained. As the chain snapped, Luminara felt a small thrill at her success.

Retrieving the dagger, she tried to get up, but immediately collapsed against the side of the cage. Her breath was coming in erratic gasps as her muscles exerted more energy than they had been asked to contribute in years. Pulling her way along the bars, Luminara reached the cage door. Her exhausted body screamed for rest. There was no time for rest. Sensing someone she thought was Ahsoka a few feet away, the woman gathered her strength and shot forward, until she was gripping the girl’s shoulder.

Feeling the solid arm beneath her, Luminara let herself hope for the first time and leaned into Ahsoka for support. She said in a raspy voice, “I thought you were dead?”

The girl laughed. “I could say the same thing for you.”  Then, the fighting seemed to stop and there were sounds of a horse being untethered. Ahsoka said, “Time to go.”

Luminara’s hope withered away. Ahsoka couldn’t fight off soldiers and keep her alive at the same time. And, Luminara couldn't help her. She wouldn’t let the girl die for her. “Ahsoka, I can't ride. I can't see. Anything.”

Strong hands grabbed Luminara’s shoulders firmly and a determined voice said, “I'm going to see for you. I just need you to trust me.”

She considered uncertainly. For whatever reason, the girl clearly wanted to save her. The longer they stood here arguing about it, the more likely Ahsoka would get hurt. Luminara decided. If she was going to live, she would do it right. She would show Ahsoka, and anyone else she had hurt, that Luminara Unduli had changed. Taking a deep breath, she smiled wanly. “Well, if we're going to come back from the dead, we might as well do it in style, I suppose.”

“That's the spirit!” was the laughing reply.

She gasped as Ahsoka threw her over her shoulder and made a running leap to somewhere. Head still spinning, Luminara realized they were both sitting on a horse and Ahsoka was handing her something.

“Alright, here, take the reins.” The girl had a supportive arm around her waist and there were metallic clangs that sounded like arrowheads hitting off her sword.

Luminara knew what needed to be done. She set the horse in motion.

_______

“Why are you helping me?” she couldn’t help asking, as the girl bandaged yet another of Luminara’s many injuries.

“What?” Ahsoka sounded confused.

“By my count, you fought through three squads of soldiers, probably compromised your cover and therefore any mission you were on, protected me at the risk of yourself, and have now spent over an hour treating my wounds while soldiers are actively hunting you. Why do I deserve such consideration?” Luminara abruptly realized that was the longest she had spoken for years and her throat cringed at the exertion. The tightening vocal cords stung painfully.

Ahsoka replied earnestly, “I think I would have done the same for anyone who looked like you did in that cage today. That said, knowing it was you made my decision easier. You may not find my reasoning adequate, but it's all that matters to me. You're important to Barriss. Barriss is important to me. That means I do anything within my power to ensure you are safe.”

Joy bloomed at the implication. It didn’t mean Barriss would ever forgive her. And, Luminara didn’t deserve to be forgiven, anyway. But, at least, she knew the girl cared. Though, the thought caused deep guilt and regret to wash over her. Still, she was determined. If she ever saw Barriss or Obi-Wan again, Luminara would show them she understood what she had done, what she had become. She didn’t expect forgiveness, but did want them to know they brought her back to herself. Maybe, that would help them. It was the least she could do. The painful misery started to seep into her soul once more.

Trying to distract her mind, she considered the girl currently working tirelessly to heal her. The girl who had risked her life, simply to make someone she loved happy. The girl that had made Luminara realize how important Barriss was to her. All of a sudden, she realized Ahsoka made her feel… safe. As the realization hit her, Luminara’s body relaxed and her mind calmed. Exhaustion swept over her and sleep overwhelmed her senses. Her last thought was that Ahsoka, like her mother, was so very special.

_______

Obi-Wan entered the safehouse stealthily, trying to ascertain its inhabitants, when his blood ran cold with paralyzing hope. The voices emanating from the back room were not possible. Ahsoka was talking to… Luminara Unduli. It couldn’t be. She was dead—lost to him forever.

Quickly moving toward the room, desperate hope abruptly melded with overwhelming joy. It was her. He grabbed the wall for support, swaying precariously. Leaning against the wall unsteadily, Obi-Wan focused on the conversation and tried to calm his chaotic mind.

“How did you survive death, anyway?” Ahsoka asked.

“Well, I was never really dead. He wounded me, but didn’t finish me off. After that point, I was taken prisoner. They thought I might have additional information about the rebellion and Barriss’ location. The Emperor is very interested in you, but you probably know that already.”

Luminara’s voice sounded weak. But, it wasn’t the cold, unemotional voice that Obi-Wan had heard at their last meeting. More desperate hope welled up inside of him.

“Well, I’m sorry your sacrifice resulted in so much pain for you,” Ahsoka said sincerely.

“That’s not important. I deserved it.” Luminara’s voice took on a miserable quality that made Obi-Wan want to rush into the room, hold her tightly, and tell her everything was going to be alright.

The woman’s voice became soft and he strained anxiously to make out the words. “I had a lot of time to think while imprisoned. I thought about what was truly important to me, and the mistakes I had made—especially with Barriss. You were right about me. I see now I was trying to recreate myself in her—trying to ensure she didn’t have the same pain I did. If I don’t make it, will you tell Barriss I’m sorry? For whatever that is worth at this point.”

Hope, almost overwhelming in its intensity, now flowed through him. Obi-Wan tried to hold it back. He already knew Luminara loved Barriss. It didn’t mean she could ever forgive him.

“You can tell her yourself,” Ahsoka responded, “I understand how loss and pain can turn someone into something they never intended. I’m not your judge. I’ll leave that to the person you want to apologize to.”

Obi-Wan smiled at Ahsoka’s compassionate soul. It never ceased to amaze him. The girl was so special and she didn’t even realize it. Abruptly, their voices lowered and he edged as close as possible to the doorway.

Ahsoka was speaking again. “Losing both of us on the same day was a lot for Barriss. It was two years, before she found me, back from the dead. That was difficult for both of us. Still, we came through it stronger. Perhaps, the same will happen for you.”

Luminara sighed painfully. “I don't think so, Ahsoka. You're different. You spent your relationship enriching her life, not… destroying it.”

“You may be surprised. You're right that you have a lot to make up for, of course. But, it wasn’t all bad or she wouldn’t care about you now. If you work on building something better, it may allow the good things you did for her to shine through. I think that was what I was trying to say to you before we both, um, died.”

“Yes, I realized that. Then, I decided to do something about it. And, I did,” Luminara replied.

“Yeah, true.” Ahsoka sounded thoughtful. “Except you can't take the easy way out now. Dying makes up for a lot, but living and becoming a better person is much more difficult. In the long run, though, it's more effective.”

Obi-Wan raised his eyebrows, impressed.

Luminara spoke again, interest mixed with amusement in her voice, “You are quite… deep sometimes. It is always somehow unexpected for me.”

He grinned. Ahsoka was doing well. She had clearly broken through Luminara’s usual reserve and was getting genuine responses. It was a feat that had taken him weeks of work to accomplish at the beginning of their relationship. There was also a natural connection in the way the women interacted that surprised him.

Ahsoka laughed and said, “That happens when you are mentored by a legendary master negotiator who, for some reason, has found you worthy of his attention, despite your inconsistent minding of his lessons. The result is random wisdom at unexpected times.”

Obi-Wan froze. The girl knew exactly what she was doing. He heard the thinly veiled curiosity and knew Ahsoka had always wondered about the day Luminara was mentioned. The day he had fled from her room in grief, knowing he had lost the woman he loved forever. But, he hadn't. She was right here. He felt suddenly giddy at the thought.

Luminara asked tonelessly, “This negotiator, who was he?”

“Only the best would make any impact on me—Obi-Wan Kenobi,” the girl responded.

Turning almost frantic, Obi-Wan held his breath in desperate anticipation for the response.

There was a wistful sigh and then Luminara said, “Of course, it was… Do you—is he still alive?”

Ecstatic hope flooded his soul. She didn’t sound upset and even seemed to care if he was alive. Obi-Wan wanted to rush into the room and see what happened, but knew he needed to bring his emotions under control first. No matter what, he wasn’t messing this up.

Ahsoka answered, “Yes. We both thought the other was dead for quite a while, actually. A common theme for our little family, it seems. Of course, given the times we live in, unsurprising. I'm very glad to have him back.” The girl chuckled as she continued, “Though, if I'm being honest, I think he loves Barriss more than me now.”

Obi-Wan couldn’t let that pass. Steeling himself, he stepped into the room and commented as lightly as his voice could manage, “Now, Ahsoka, no need for that. There's plenty of me to go around.”

He focused immediately on the woman he loved. She looked terrible. Even from the door he could see the defeated posture, the emaciated body lying limply on the bed, and there was something horribly wrong with her face.

Ahsoka said with surprise, “Um, hey. So, I guess you found us, huh?”

Obi-Wan’s gaze didn’t leave Luminara as he replied, “Yes, I heard the Lady Jedi decided to blow her cover and break a prisoner out of a heavily guarded convoy. That led me to check safehouses on the city outskirts.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. But, I had to—”

He cut her off. “I understand.” Obi-Wan moved closer to the bed. He examined the innumerable wounds over Luminara's body with increasing anger. Even worse, someone had taken one eye and the other, while freshly cleaned, was blackened and swollen shut. He wanted to rip Palpatine from limb to limb at that moment.

Obi-Wan desperately tried to regain control of himself and speak, glancing aimlessly around the room. Then, he noticed Luminara gripping Ahsoka’s hand tightly. She was obviously stressed by his presence and had reached out to Ahsoka for support. Obi-Wan fluctuated between surprise at Luminara’s apparent willingness to accept help and frustration that he had caused the need for it.

Ahsoka cleared her throat. “So, I guess you two know each other?”

There was an awkward silence. Obi-Wan decided to take a risk and said nervously, “Sort of,” holding his breath for the response.

Luminara raised an eyebrow and replied wryly, “Sort of? That's the best you can do?”

Intense, joyful relief filled him. The woman he loved was still there. And, she was willing to give him a chance. A grin started forming, but Obi-Wan stopped it, not wanting to move too fast. There was no way he was going to ruin this.

Ahsoka suddenly commented, “Obi-Wan seems to find your question amusing, Luminara.”

He glared at her. Didn’t she know she might ruin everything? Of course, she didn’t.

“What?” the girl said impishly, “I'm just translating for my patient. It's rather rude of you to smile when she can't see it.”

Luminara chuckled lightly. “Ahsoka, I'm beginning to understand what Barriss sees in you.”

Obi-Wan slumped in relief at the response.

Ahsoka asked Luminara mischievously, “Is that supposed to make me feel better about you trying to kill me that one time?”

A snort was the only response.

Unsure of how to respond to such casual referencing of their prior confrontation, Obi-Wan said, “Well then.”

Luminara snorted again and shifted her head toward Ahsoka. “That's always what he says when he doesn't know what to say. It sounds more dignified than stuttering awkwardly.”

Obi-Wan stared at her astonishment. His hope surged and he responded snarkily, “Well, it's better than just standing there, staring impassively at people!”

Luminara raised an eyebrow and just pointed her face impassively in his direction. Then, she laughed softly.

Feeling happiness fill his heart, Obi-Wan laughed, as well. He hadn’t lost her. She was right in front of him. And, he was definitely never letting her go.

Ahsoka glanced between them, looking awkward. “Well, Obi-Wan, if you'd watch after Luminara, I'll go check the area to make sure it's safe for us to move.”

He nodded anxiously, but tried to fill his voice with confidence for Luminara’s benefit. “Absolutely.”

Ahsoka squeezed the woman’s hand and motioned Obi-Wan to take her place on the bed. “Will you check the leg bandage? I think it might need to be changed before we move.”

“Well, I'm not Barriss, but I'll do my best,” he said and then cringed inwardly. He wanted to show Luminara he would do anything she needed.

However, the woman didn’t seem to mind the tentative statement and commented dryly, “Neither is Ahsoka and she managed to treat all of my injuries quite competently. I'm sure you can handle changing a bandage.”

He replied happily, “Point acknowledged.” Obi-Wan sat down carefully next to her as Ahsoka left the room, examining the bandaged leg.

There was an awkward silence as he started unwrapping it and Obi-Wan briefly wished Ahsoka hadn’t left. He needed to say something, but wasn't sure how to start.

Then, Luminara spoke quietly, “I-I’m glad you’re still alive.”

Obi-Wan stopped what he was doing and gazed at her. “You are? I thought—was afraid you—nevermind, I’m talking nonsense. I’m sorry.” He tried to focus on the bandage again.

“Obi-Wan…” she said softly.

He glanced up quickly at her face, which looked pained and miserable. Dropping the bandage, Obi-Wan grabbed her hand. “Luminara, I’m so sorry. Let me—let me try to…” he trailed off, unable to deal with the nearly uncontrollable emotions.  

Luminara inhaled sharply, but didn’t remove her hand.

Obi-Wan slammed his eyes shut, trying to focus, and then spoke slowly, “I’m sorry again. Let’s start over. I am going to change your bandage. Then, I’m going to take care of anything else you need. And, if at some point, you want to talk about things, let me know. Otherwise, I’m just going to keep doing what I can do.” He added lightly, “You just came back from the dead and I’m not sure I have the ability to form proper sentences at the moment, anyway.” He flipped his eyes back open to see her reaction.

A weak smile formed at the edges of her mouth. “I should have expected kindness from you, in spite of what you must be feeling.” Her face contracted painfully as she continued, “I want—I just wanted to tell you that I’m so very sorry for everything. I’m not asking for forgiveness. I don’t deserve to be forgiven and I want you to know that I realize that. Maybe, it will… help.”

Gaping at her, he replied in confusion, “How would that help? Why would I want you to be in pain? There is nothing for me to forgive. I-I don’t understand.”

Luminara jerked her head toward him and, even without her eyes, he could see the astonishment on her face. “You don’t… hate me?”

Utter bewilderment washed over him. Surely, she didn’t think that. “Why would you think that? How could you ever think I would—would be able to—no, that could never, _ever_ be true.” Obi-Wan emphasized the point by squeezing her hand more tightly.

Turning her face away, she looked at the wall and whispered, “You should hate me.”

Obi-Wan wanted to wrap her in his arms and make her stop saying it, but didn’t want to ruin everything. So, he sat in stunned confusion, unsure of what to do. Finally, he spoke gently, “I don’t. I never could. Please, believe me.”

There was small squeeze from the hand he was holding.

He tried to be happy with getting some kind of response. Obi-Wan lifted her hand and brushed his lips lightly across her knuckles, before releasing it to resume bandaging her leg.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, I'm totally ripping off my own writing. But, as with the previous chapter, this is a key moment for Obi-Wan and Luminara's story and it needed it's own treatment. There are some slight differences in dialog, mostly for readability. I had to add in an additional character into the scene. Switching between the actual conversation and Obi-Wan's escalating reactions was complicated. If you are that eagle-eyed of a reader, my in-universe rationalization would be 'hey, it's based on what the POV character heard and no conversation will be remembered the same way'. ;-) I really, really enjoyed exploring how the POV character interprets reactions, events, or words we have already seen (i.e. this scene in WIAB from Ahsoka's POV vs. here from Obi-Wan's POV). What one person sees as uncertainty or annoyance, might be something else altogether. Sometimes, each POV notices different things about what is going on. Then again, sometimes the POV is spot-on with interpretation.
> 
> [Timeline: Age 53]  
> [Main story references: Chapter 46]


	9. True Healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luminara recovers mentally and physically at the rebel base.  
> Obi-Wan continues to try to be everything his family needs.

Luminara listened as Barriss and Obi-Wan quietly disagreed on how best to treat her injuries.

“Obi-Wan, I know. I’m the healer here, remember? Don’t worry. She’s going to be fine.” Barriss’ voice was exasperated but affectionate. Luminara could tell the girl loved him very much and it created a rare sense of warmth inside of her.

The man replied sheepishly, “I’m sorry, my dear. I just think someone should be with her at all times, in case she needs anything.”

“Ok, you win, Master Negotiator. You can have first watch. I’m almost done. Just don’t wake her. She needs plenty of rest,” Barriss ended sternly.

“As you wish, my lady,” was the snarky reply.

Barriss chuckled. “I know you’re worried, but she’ll be fine.”

“It’s not her physical health that I’m concerned about.”

There was a brief pause, before Barriss asked softly, “Do you really think she’s changed?”

There was a depression in the bed as Obi-Wan sat down beside the girl. “Barriss, look at me. No, I don’t think she’s changed. I think she is the same woman I’ve always known. The woman I love.”

Luminara had to stop herself from reacting physically to the statement. He couldn’t possibly still love her. Not after everything she had done. Not after what she had become. Not after… the baby. It wasn’t possible.

He continued, “You think of it as a change. But, even for you, I don’t really think it is. You always saw who she truly was or you wouldn’t have cared about her. All that’s happened is the facade she used to mask the pain—the pain I caused her—has fallen away. Who she actually is has never changed.”

Chaotic emotions flooded Luminara’s mind. Obi-Wan sounded like he believed in her—like he had never lost faith in her, as if everything had been his fault. She wanted to hold him in her arms and tell him that wasn’t true. It never had been. But, Luminara knew she didn’t deserve him. She also knew he would one day realize it. Though, he apparently hadn’t yet. The thought brought new emotions crashing down on her and she couldn’t hold back a trembling shiver.

They immediately noticed. Slender fingers examined her, while a strong hand gripped hers. Luminara, praying they wouldn't think she had been eavesdropping, lied weakly, “I’m alright. Just woke up cold or something.”

Obi-Wan immediately jumped off the bed and she soon felt a warm blanket enveloping her. He said worriedly, “I’m sorry, I should have remembered how cold you get.”

Almost involuntarily, she reached out a hand and felt him grab it tightly. “It’s not your fault. None of this is your fault.”

A throat cleared in the resulting silence and Barriss said softly, “Well, I think I’m done for now. I’ll check back on you in a bit. Make sure you get some sleep, though.” Luminara could tell the girl was staring at Obi-Wan as she said the last part.

Luminara could hear the grin on his face as he replied, “I give you my word of honor, my lady. It will be done.”

Barriss laughed. Luminara caught her breath, realizing it was a beautiful sound. Then, fingers lightly touched her face as the girl said, “Everything is going to be alright. Don’t worry.” Then, she was gone.

_______

Luminara glanced up as Obi-Wan strolled in. The eyesight in her remaining eye was returning slowly and she could just make out a fuzzy grin. She hoped soon she would be able to see more clearly, in order to fully take in his handsome face. The face Luminara still imagined in her dreams. It would be older now and probably more distinguished. But, she was certain, when he grinned, the boyish charm would still be there. It was in his voice when he spoke to her.

He sat down on the bed next to her and took her hand. It was his typical pose over the last couple of weeks. She had come to expect it, even excitedly anticipate it, everytime he entered the room. It calmed her nerves and the terrible feelings of failure and regret receded slightly, when Obi-Wan was sitting next to her.

She smiled at him. “Well, anything new to report this morning?”

“Hmm… well, Ahsoka and Barriss are arguing about whether Luke should learn healing or sword form four next. Luke is rolling his eyes a lot, while secretly hoping it means he doesn’t have to do anything for the next several hours. The rebellion launched two campaigns in Lothal to spectacular success. Rex is pining over Asajj being gone for three weeks, trying to track some scoundrel in the outer regions. And, Obi-Wan Kenobi is happily sitting on your bed.”

Luminara raised a snarky eyebrow. “So, what you are saying is… nothing new to report.”

He brushed his lips over her knuckles and replied in mock annoyance, “You are so difficult to please! I’ll have to start a riot or something next time.”

She grinned. “Surely, you can do better than that?”

Obi-Wan leaned closer. “I can do much, much better than that. If you want me to?”

Luminara gasped and drew back.

His face turned horrified. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—” he paused and then focused on her, “I did mean it. But, I know you aren’t ready for me to mean it. I know you might never be able to trust me again. That’s ok. Still, you should know… I love you. I never stopped loving you. And, I never will.”

She stared in slight panic, trying to make out the swirling emotions in his eyes through her partial vision, while attempting to ignore her own.

Obi-Wan continued softly, “So, just let me love you, please? You don’t have to do anything different or be anything different than who you are. Just, let me… be me.”

Luminara exhaled slowly and a calmness settled in her mind. He wasn’t asking for more than she could give. And, she owed him some form of happiness. Luminara didn’t understand why he still loved her. But, for him, she would do… anything. “Alright.”

A fuzzy, boyish smile shined back at her. “Thank you.”

She couldn’t help a small smile in return. Instinctively, she raised her free hand to his face and ran her fingers over his strong chin.

Obi-Wan closed his eyes, still smiling.

Luminara lowered her hand to the one holding hers, laying it on top. Then, she leaned back in the bed and murmured, “When I have you, I’m pretty sure I can handle anything.”

There was a hoarse reply, “Good.”

She smiled and went to sleep, feeling content and happy. And, she didn’t care why.

_______

“You should give it a try. Tell her you love her. Barriss doesn’t want apologies. She wants your love.”

Luminara stared at him. “I don’t have the right to tell her that. Do you know what I did to her? What I almost caused her to do to herself? What I drove her to?” Her voice increased in agitation, “If it hadn’t been for Ahsoka, she would have been lost. And, I wouldn’t have even realized what I had lost until it was too late!”

Steadying hands gripped her face and Obi-Wan said intently, “I do know. Barriss and I talked a good deal about you over the years. And, I’m telling you—what she wants is your love, not your regret.”

Her newly restored vision probed his eyes searchingly. “You know everything and you still—still…”

He rubbed her cheeks with his thumbs reassuringly. “Yes. And, as for Barriss, you should believe me. She’s already forgiven you. But, forgiveness does not build a new relationship. If you want to have one with her, you need to start with love. Then, you can restore trust.”

Luminara recognized the wisdom of his words and nodded weakly. “Ok, I’ll give it a try. I suppose it couldn’t make things worse.”

“That’s the spirit,” he said laughingly, continuing to rub his thumbs over her face gently. “Believe me, though, you can do this. And, you both will be better for it.”

She gazed at him, feeling a desperate need to understand. “Why do you still have faith in me? I failed you so badly.”

“What?” Obi-Wan gaped at her. “You never failed me. I failed you. I failed you in every way possible.”

Her mouth dropped open. “What are you talking about? None of what happened was your fault.”

The man dropped his hands and glanced away. “Yes, it was. When you were injured, when we—when we lost our child…”

She gasped and recoiled in on herself. It was something they had never talked about and suppressed feelings rushed suddenly to the surface.

Obi-Wan looked back to her quickly, tears spilling down his face. “You needed me. And, instead of comforting you and telling you we could deal with it together, I let my loss and grief overwhelm me. Then, even after I realized my mistakes, I felt too guilty to try to make things right. When I did have the chance, all I did was further show how incapable of dealing with loss I was and I accused you of killing—” he stopped, breathing rapidly, and then locked his eyes on hers. “I always had faith in you. I always knew who you really were. But, instead of expressing it, I lashed out in my pain. When you needed me most, I failed. I can’t even describe how badly I failed you. The idea that you don’t blame me for it is actually unbelievable to me.”

Sobs abruptly overwhelmed her and she rolled away from him, wrapping her arms around herself. Luminara tried to say it wasn’t his fault. That she should have kept faith. That she had failed him when he needed her, as well. She had been selfish and compounded her mistakes over and over again. But, her lungs couldn’t get enough breath to say any of it. All she could manage was a gasping, “Not—not your fault. I’m—I’m so… sorry.”

Suddenly, a strong arm wrapped around her, body pressing supportively into hers. Obi-Wan tucked his face into her neck and spoke softly, “I’m sorry too. The baby was _not_ your fault. It wasn't. And, I promise, I will never fail you again.”

Luminara lifted a hand to his arm and pulled it more tightly around her. Then, she released the grief and loss from deep inside her soul. With Obi-Wan beside her, she knew she could handle anything.

_______

Luminara watched as Barriss tended to wounds that were almost healed, treating them with the same care she had when they were still raw and fresh. The girl’s eyes moved intensely with complete focus, delicate hands manipulating the healed skin. Love and pride swelled within Luminara. How much joy had she missed in all the years of being something she wasn’t? Deep regret started to replace the happy feelings, until Obi-Wan’s words echoed through her mind, _“...she wants your love, not your regret.”_

Instinctively, Luminara reached out and grabbed one of the hands examining her. “Barriss, I—” Intense fear stopped her mouth. Then, she focused on the girl’s surprised face. Barriss needed to know, whatever the consequences to Luminara’s heart. Swallowing tightly, she plunged ahead. “I love you. I always have. I just wanted you to know.”

The girl sat unmoving on the bed, emotions flying too chaotically through her deep blue eyes for Luminara to make out. Then, a multitude of tears started rolling down Barriss’ face.

Not able to bear the tears, Luminara shifted quickly and wrapped her arms around the woman that was still her child. “I’m sorry for lots of things, but I most regret never telling you that. I’m glad I have a chance to do it now.”

Barriss finally spoke, in a voice that sounded like the small girl she had once been, “I love—love you too.”

Luminara’s heart pulsed with joy at the simple words. She pulled Barriss closer and said softly, “I don’t deserve it. But, that makes me happier than I’ve been in a very, very long time.”

The girl didn’t respond, but her body relaxed and she leaned into Luminara’s shoulder.

An incredible happiness filled her as she tightened her embrace around Barriss. And, this time, Luminara Unduli knew why.

_______

“Now, tell the truth, you had no idea.”

Obi-Wan put on an airy expression. “Of course, I did. I totally knew that herd of Banthas was there. I decided to go that way for an extra challenge. The whole getting trampled and almost losing a leg thing was part of my innovative, training regime.”

They were sitting on the settee in the sitting room, where they had been spending most of their time lately. Now that she was fully recovered and able to move freely, Luminara had found the room strangely comforting, especially when Obi-Wan was with her in it.

She laughed, running her fingers over his chin. “Uh-huh.”

He stopped her roaming hand and kissed the fingertips. “True story.”

Luminara suddenly realized how much she loved him, how much she needed him, and how much she believed in his unwavering faith. There was no conflict in the realization, no fear, only… joy. She leaned her forehead against his. “Do you truly love me?”

Sucking in a sharp breath, Obi-Wan placed both hands on the side of her face. “Yes, so much it's overwhelming.”

She sighed happily. “Then, I guess you better do something about it.”

He pulled her head back, searching her face. “What do you want me to do about it?”

Luminara replied softly, “I want… everything.”

Obi-Wan jerked, eyes slamming shut, and his hands dropped. He gripped the seat, arms trembling with the effort.

She cupped his face, trying to steady him. “Obi-Wan, look at me, please.”

His eyes flipped open, but they were unfocused, emotions running through them with rapidity.

Stroking his cheeks, she asked, “What do you want?”

Obi-Wan’s gaze morphed into sudden focus. “I want… everything.”

Luminara smiled. “Well then.” She pressed her lips into his and felt him respond with intensity. He wrapped arms around her and an ethereal contentment started filling her.

Suddenly, a horrified voice said, “Oh, um, I'm sorry—”

They broke away to see Ahsoka staring at them in awkward anxiety, before the girl muttered some excuse and ran out of the room.

Both of them stared at each other for a moment, before the silence turned into joyful laughter.

Luminara was still laughing, when Obi-Wan pulled her back to him and said, “Wait a minute, we hadn't finished our conversation.”

She grinned and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Oh, what else did you want to say?”

“Just this.” He re-engaged his mouth on hers and Luminara felt her heart throbbing with pure happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lovely thing about destroying people's lives is when you get to fix it all. As such, I love this chapter. :-)
> 
> [Timeline: Age 53]  
> [Main story references: Chapter 47]


	10. Letting Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan and Luminara come to terms with the remnants of loss and regret, in order to move forward.

Luminara ran a tender hand over the elegant, cypher-wood bow lying on Barriss' desk as guilt flooded her heart. She should have done something more to save her friend, but she hadn’t.

A tentative voice asked, “Are you alright?”

Twisting around, she found Ahsoka hovering a few feet behind her. Luminara plastered a bright smile. “Yes, I’m fine. Thank you.”

Doubtful eyes gazed back at her. “I don’t think that’s true.” She rushed on, “I mean, I know you’re not Barriss—you are definitely very different people—but, some of your mannerisms are similar and… well, I just think that’s not true.”

Luminara stared, not knowing how to respond to such directness.

The girl seemed undecided for a moment and then strode forward. “I know we aren’t particularly close and we didn’t exactly start out on a good note all those years ago. However, I also know holding things inside can do serious damage. I hope you believe that I do care about you—not just because you are important to Barriss—but, because you are _you._ So, if you need to talk about anything, I’m trying to say that I’m available.”

Ahsoka gave her an engaging grin that made Luminara almost gasp. It was her mother’s grin. Painful emotions swelled and she couldn’t stop a tear from running down her cheek. “I-I don’t—”

A gentle hand touched her shoulder. “Please, tell me what’s wrong. It doesn’t matter what it is. I promise to listen.”

Luminara smiled and wiped away the tear. Considering the girl for a moment, she finally murmured, “You remind me so much of your mother.”

Ahsoka inhaled sharply and fixed her with a searching gaze. “You knew my mother?”

“Yes. She was… my friend. The only friend I ever had.” Her mind fell into memories and the regret was almost overwhelming. The woman deserved better than what Luminara had given. And, there was nothing she could do about it now.

“Oh. I didn’t know.” Ahsoka’s voice was tinged with melancholy.

Luminara refocused, seeing tears behind the fierce, blue eyes. She took the girl’s hand from her shoulder and squeezed it tightly. “When you mentioned her the other day on the archery range, the memories came flooding back. I never really—I suppose I never mourned her properly. Then, I saw Barriss’ bow and realized it was your mother’s.”

Ahsoka stared in amazement. “Yes, it was. I gave it to Barriss a long time ago. It was one of the few things that survived the destruction of Shili. I could never master it, but I wanted it to live on and be appreciated by someone who understood it.”

Nodding sadly, Luminara said, “Your mother loved you very much, you know.”

The girl’s face tightened with repressed tears. “I know, thanks.”

Luminara attempted to lighten the mood by saying, “You said we didn't start out on a good note, but we actually did. At least, it was good from my perspective. I met you when you were a child. You wouldn’t remember as you were very young. But, I do. And, even then, you were special.”

A small grin flashed as Ahsoka said, “Is that code for rebellious, stubborn, and prone to say whatever comes into my head?”

Luminara laughed. “Actually, that last part was something your mother loved most about you. She was the same, you know. She would tell me the truth I didn’t want to hear, always with an endearing grin that made it very difficult to be angry with her about it.”

This time, Ahsoka produced a wide, bright smile. “Well, at least I come by it honestly. How old was I when we met? Did we spend any time together?”

Luminara thought for a moment. “I believe you had just turned five the first time we met. We didn't spend a great deal of extended time together. Though, when you were six, you had me all to yourself. While your mother and Obi-Wan went hunting, I took you to the old Jedi temple in Coruscant.”

Ahsoka jolted, clear shock on her face.

“What’s wrong?” Luminara hoped she hadn’t inadvertently upset her. Perhaps, she was disturbed by the thought that her mother had left her in the care of a dubious, disreputable spy. “I’m sorry if I upset you. I didn’t—”

The girl gripped her hand more tightly. “No, I’m not upset. It’s just… I remember that trip—feelings and images from it, anyway. But, I could never remember who had taken me. It was an experience that—well, I think it was when I first realized how much I loved seeing new places. I’ve gone back to that temple several times over the years and it always made me happy. Actually, that's what I remember most about the trip… feeling happy… ” she trailed off and looked at Luminara strangely. “I must have liked you very much.”

“Oh.” A feeling of warmth entered Luminara’s heart. “I don’t know what to say. I liked you very much, as well. It actually took some work on my part to convince you of that. You were definitely a stubborn child, no arguments there,” she added wryly.

Ahsoka grinned. “Are you trying to say you had to trick me into believing that you liked me?”

“Basically,” Luminara replied amusedly.

“Did you—” the girl hesitated before continuing, “I have a memory of being carried in someone's arms and feeling… special. Was that—did you—”

Luminara jumped in, “Yes, I carried you most of the way home. You actually fell asleep on the way.” She smiled sentimentally at the memory.

Ahsoka's jaw went slack. “I can't believe I let you carry me. Maybe, that's why the memory has stayed with me.”

“Believe me, I wouldn't have dared, if you hadn't asked me to.” Luminara chuckled.

“I asked you too?!” Ahsoka exclaimed in clear disbelief at such an occurrence.

Luminara formed a wry grin. “Yes, my dear. After a long and terribly deep discussion on the topic of specialness, in the middle of the street no less, we decided we were special. You very reasonably suggested that this meant it was ok for me to carry you. Since, we were _both_ special.”

Ahsoka laughed with obvious enjoyment at her six-year old logic. “Well, um, clearly. Makes perfect sense to me.” Her expression softened and she added quietly, “Thanks for… I guess, making me feel special.”

“Well, you were and you are.” Luminara said, squeezing her hand. “Anyway, I’m glad you enjoyed it. I didn’t really know what to do with a child. It wasn’t exactly my area of expertise. But, your mother seemed to think I could handle it and just told me to follow my instincts.” Thoughts drifting into memory once more, she added softly, “She had such faith in me and I was determined not to disappoint her.” Luminara’s chest tightened, tears of loss and regret threatening again. Shaking them away, she refocused on the girl in front of her.

Gazing at her in apparent contemplation, Ahsoka asked tentatively, “Maybe, if you feel up to it, you could tell me some stories about her? Obi-Wan gets sad when he talks about her, so I try not to bring it up. Rex only knew her as a queen and mentor. And, I have—I don’t know—a child's idea of her in my head, I guess. I want to know what she was like, when she wasn’t being a queen or my mother. I want to understand… who she truly was.”

It would hurt. It would remind Luminara of her failure. But, perhaps, she could honor the woman's memory in some small way by keeping it alive in her daughter. When she saw the hopeful, beseeching eyes looking back at her, Luminara’s heart jumped. At that moment, she realized that Ahsoka was important to her—not because of her mother, or because she had saved her life, or even because she had been the impetus for Luminara’s return to sanity. She was important because she was… Ahsoka. As the feeling turned into clarity, Luminara knew she would face anything to make her happy. Tightening the grip on Ahsoka’s hand, she answered earnestly, “I’d love to tell you about your mother, my special girl.”

A brilliant smile appeared and fierce, blue eyes shined back at her with happiness.

_______

“Does Ahsoka know how her mother died? Other than the official story, I mean?”

Obi-Wan took a sharp breath, feeling a sudden ache in his heart.

Luminara shifted in their bed and then met his eyes. “That’s a no, isn’t it?”

Glancing away, he replied, “I don’t think so. We never talked about it, anyway.”

She lifted a tender hand and stroked his chin. “Yes, Ahsoka mentioned that you rarely talk about her.”

Obi-Wan’s gaze darted back. “You talked about her with Ahsoka?”

“Yes, my love. The girl is desperate to know as much as possible about her mother. I suppose for many reasons. I also think she’s afraid of forgetting. It probably feels like losing her again, if she doesn’t keep her alive in her memories.”

He squeezed his eyes shut. “I should have realized that. I should have talked about her more over the years.”

“Why do you always want to blame yourself for everything? It’s not your fault she died young. It’s much more my fault than yours.”

Flipping his eyes open, the man tightened his embrace around her. “That’s not true. Don’t say that.” They had never talked about the woman’s death before and Obi-Wan’s heart was throbbing at the exertion. He tried to hold himself steady. If Luminara needed him, he would be there, no matter how much it hurt.

Luminara smiled adoringly at him. “I love you. I love that you believe in me so much. But, I have to deal with my failures, like everyone else. You can’t keep them from me. I’ll be ok, I promise.”

Obi-Wan slumped his shoulders. “Alright, but make sure you don’t take too much of the blame. You didn’t kill her.”

“I did know she was in danger, though. I tried to warn her, but I could have done so much more.”

Startled at the revelation, he asked, “You tried to warn her?”

The reply was strained. “Yes. I-I was hired by Palpatine to kill her, as you suspected. I couldn’t do it, though. So, I cancelled the job and tried to convince him to give up the idea. Then, I sent an anonymous message warning her of the threat.”

Obi-Wan gazed at her in painful regret. “You did all of that and then I showed up and accused you—accused you of…”

Luminara gripped his chin. “Let’s not go back to that, please. Your belief was reasonable, given the circumstances. And, I did just tell you that I actually _was_ contracted to do it. So, please, don’t keep blaming yourself.”  

He took a deep breath. “Ok, I’ll try to do better. But, the same applies to you, as well, you know,” he added intently.

“Somewhat, I suppose. Still, I could have done so much more. That was months before she died. So, there was plenty of time to do something about it. I could have gone to her in person. I don’t even know if she believed my message or took precautions. I could have told her who was after her. I didn’t know for certain who my client was at the time, but I suspected. Or, I could have shown up and followed her around to protect her myself. I did… nothing.”

Obi-Wan pulled her closer. “Fine. All of those things are possible. But, I doubt it would have made any difference. You had no proof of Palpatine to share and, even if you did, Shili might have started a war between the kingdoms—which would have only made Palpatine’s hand stronger. If you had shown up to protect her, Palpatine would have adjusted his plans accordingly. You would likely have died too, or perhaps, been framed for the crime.”

He continued thoughtfully, feeling like he was on the edge of understanding something, “And, even if she took precautions, people can never be totally safe. She might have taken them after getting your message. But, it wasn’t going to last forever. She was not a woman who tolerated being protected. You did everything you were capable of doing at the time and, even if that weren't true, it wouldn’t have changed the result.” Realizing the truth, he murmured, “It was a no-win situation—probably, by design, knowing Palpatine. No matter the outcome… he wins.”

Luminara sighed. “I know. I have thought of all of these justifications, myself. One terrible night, when I was imprisoned, I even came up with several complicated plans that probably wouldn’t have worked to eliminate or deflect Palpatine. Still, that’s not really the point. I didn’t do everything I could have. It’s something I have to live with and accept and I am trying. Actually, talking about her with Ahsoka is helping some. It feels like I’m doing something to help keep her memory alive.”

He smiled sadly. “Alright. But, if you want to talk about it with me, then… do it. I know you probably haven’t because you think it will upset me.” He locked his eyes on her with intensity. “That doesn’t matter. I’ll talk about whatever you need to talk about. Because, more than anything else, I want you to be ok.”

She gazed into his eyes and then kissed him deeply. When they finally broke away, she whispered, “I love you so much.”

Ethereal happiness filled his heart and he lifted a hand to stroke the smooth skin, “Not as much as I love you.”

A happy grin shined back at him. “Hmm… arguable, I suppose.” Then, she grabbed the hand roaming across her face, expression turning serious. “And, now, you’ve gotten me off-track. If your keep this up, I might not be able to control myself. I started this conversation to talk about Ahsoka.”

He chuckled. “Fine, let me have it, then.”

“Ok, two things. First, I didn’t know her mother nearly as well or as long as you did. So, my stories are limited. If you feel able, perhaps, you could try talking with Ahsoka about her every once in a while?” 

Obi-Wan froze as loss rolled over him. It still hurt. Then, he felt steadying hands on his face and took a deep breath, letting the pain recede.

Luminara gently kissed his forehead. “I know it will be difficult. You don’t have to do it. But, if you can, I think she… needs it.”

He swallowed hard and then nodded. “I’ll try.”

She smiled softly and released her grip, but left a hand on his face, running fingertips over his cheek.

“What was the other thing?” he asked.

Hesitating, Luminara finally said, “My original question… should we tell Ahsoka that her mother was killed by Palpatine?”

A sudden sense of horror gripped him at the thought, but he tried to keep his voice calm. “What good would that do? And, technically speaking, we don’t know that for sure. We would be adding unnecessary pain to an already closed wound.”

“Alright. If you think it isn’t a good idea, I’ll leave it alone,” she replied calmly.

He stared at her. “Nothing else? You aren’t going to try to convince me otherwise?”

“No. I brought it up to discuss, my love. I don’t know the correct answer. You aren’t ready to have that conversation and that's ok. So, no, we don’t need to talk about it anymore.”

“Uh, ok.” He felt unsettled. Obi-Wan didn’t want her to think she couldn’t depend on him. “We can talk about it, you know. I can handle it.”

Luminara smiled. “It’s alright, really. We’ll talk about it again sometime.”

Obi-Wan gazed at her in distress. “But, you know you can depend on me for anything, right? You can talk to me about anything. I’ll never fail you again. I promise.”

Her expression shifted to intense concern and she anchored to his eyes. “Obi-Wan, you don’t have to be everything. That’s not possible for anyone. I just want you to be _you._ The man I love.”

Shaking his head vehemently, he said, “I can be everything for you. I won’t fail this time.”

“No. Don’t even try it.” Luminara’s voice had an edge of panic. “You can’t be perfect. I can’t be perfect. We are going to have problems. But, that’s ok. It doesn’t mean I’ll go over the edge or stop loving you. Please, don’t do this.”

Obi-Wan stared at her in confusion. “I’m not trying to be perfect. I just want to make sure you know I love you, and I believe in you, and I am there for you, no matter what.”

“I do know that and I always will,” she paused, before saying slowly, “but, you don’t believe that, do you?”

He jerked and started to deny it.

Luminara put a hand over his mouth. “It’s true. You think if you do something wrong, I might run away again. I might leave. You are still blaming yourself for my actions.”

Obi-Wan tried to reign in the emotions and respond calmly. “I drove you away once before. I want to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Is that so bad?”

She spoke with a pained expression, “My love, I’m not sure how else to say this. You were angry and upset and that did hurt me. But, instead of dealing with the hurt or trying to understand your pain, I ran away. And, I turned into a monster. None of those things were your fault. They were my choices. I understand why that scares you now,” Luminara met his eyes intently and continued, “but, I promise… it will never happen again. If we fight, if we fail each other now and again, even if you inadvertently hurt me, I will still be here to talk about it. Please, believe me,” her voice turned pleading.

There was a sudden release in his soul and tears formed. Obi-Wan gazed at her as if seeing her for the first time again. Reaching a hand to her cheek, he stroked the soft, delicate skin. “Ok.”

Her mouth formed a relieved smile. Then, she said softly, “Don’t worry. We can make anything work, as long as we do it together. Remember?”

Lightness flooded his soul and Obi-Wan Kenobi was happier than he had been in a very, very long time.

_______

Obi-Wan was staring out the window of their room. Talking with Ahsoka about her mother had brought up painful memories. Memories he couldn't seem to put behind him, all these years later. He didn't seem to know how to do it. And, it hurt.

A concerned voice floated into his thoughts, “What’s wrong?”

He jumped slightly and saw Luminara gazing at him from the doorway. “Nothing, my love. Just being self-pitying today, I guess.”

Crossing the room to stand behind him, she wrapped slender arms around his waist and rested a chin on his shoulder. “Tell me.”

Tilting his head, Obi-Wan kissed her hair. “I'm fine, don't worry.”

She snorted. “You're always fine. But, you're not always happy. And, when you're not happy, I'm not happy. Now, don't you want me to be happy?” Luminara asked with an innocent air.

He grinned. “You know how to get exactly what you want, don't you?”

“Hmm… sort of.”

Obi-Wan laughed and kissed her head again. “Ok, you win. I just finished talking to Ahsoka about her mother, which brought back some memories is all.”

Luminara tightened her embrace. “Go on.”

Steeling himself, he said, “I realized something I hadn't. I think she did believe your message. Right before she died, she was acting strangely and seemed intent on giving me hope about you, about myself. Saying odd things about how if anything ever happened to her that I shouldn't lose faith. She was supposed to tell me what was going on when we met in Dantooine to try to find you. But, she never—” Obi-Wan broke off as the horrible moment he had found out about her death came rushing back. It still felt fresh and raw after all of these years. As if, he was losing his family all over again. But, his heart had to hold on to it—to her. He couldn’t let himself forget. She deserved better.

Luminara swung herself in front of him and pulled his head onto her shoulder, stroking it gently.

Overwhelming grief suddenly pulsed through him and he released painful tears into her.

A soft voice said, “She's gone now, but you know what she would tell you. Do you think she would want you to hold on to her at the expense of yourself? She wanted so much more for you.”

He felt the truth of that resonate in his heart. Abruptly, she was there, in front of his eyes with fierce, blue eyes and an engaging grin. She gazed at him fondly and whispered, “Obi-Wan, _please,_ let me go.”

And, in that moment, Obi-Wan Kenobi finally let go.

_______

“You and Barriss actually lived here?” a voice said with clear disapproval.

“Yes, my dear.” Luminara glanced around the compound, assessing the current condition. As expected, the most valuable objects had been looted. However, a surprising number of items still remained. Perhaps, people were still afraid of her reputed deadly traps. Or, Palpatine had put it under surveillance. Either way, they needed to move on quickly.

This was already a risky trip for a dubious purpose. Still, she had finally decided to do it anyway, despite all rational objections. And, Ahsoka had insisted on coming with her. Barriss and Obi-Wan were on a mission and the girl probably thought it was her duty to protect Luminara in the meantime. She smiled to herself. Ahsoka’s fierce loyalty to the people she loved was one of the reasons Luminara found her so special.

Ahsoka surveyed the dark space in obvious distaste. “No wonder you both went over the edge. This place is a nightmare.”

Raising an amused eyebrow, Luminara commented, “It is the lair of a spymaster, you know. It is supposed to make people _not_ want to enter it. Besides, it's not exactly in prime condition right now.”

A dry voice replied, “Um, I don’t see any way to make this place happy, even if you hung bright banners from the walls with big welcome signs!”

Luminara laughed and moved through the main compound to the living quarters at the back. “Well, lucky for you, we won’t be here that long. Hopefully, we can manage to get you out before you go into a deep, depressive episode.”

Ahsoka said excitedly, “In that case, what are we looking for? I’ll help, if it means we get to see sunlight sooner!”

Half amused and half annoyed, Luminara remarked, “Your mother didn’t seem to mind it.”

Gaping in amazement, the girl glanced around again. “No way. If my mother hung out here, it was probably under duress. How often did this supposed event happen?”

“You are impossible, Ahsoka. I don’t know how often. You are correct that we usually went out when she came to visit. Your mother got bored very easily.” Luminara raised a knowing eyebrow.

Ahsoka responded with exaggerated innocence, “What's that eyebrow supposed to mean? Are you trying to say something about my ability to entertain myself?”

Luminara replied dryly, “I would never imply that you must constantly have something to do or someone to interact with to be content. Perish the thought!”

The girl tried to glare, but a half smile formed and it was very unconvincing. “I can't tell if I've been complimented or insulted.”

“Hmm… well, that should keep you entertained for the next minute or so while I release this lock.” Luminara knelt next to her security mechanism, manipulating the underlying levies. Once the lock released, she turned back to Ahsoka who was staring in fascination.

“Did you create that whole thing?”

“Yes, I wanted something better, something most intruders wouldn't have encountered,” Luminara answered absently as she tried to slide the door open, which appeared to be stuck.

Strong hands gently shifted her aside. Ahsoka briefly examined the recalcitrant door and then, gripping with both hands, jerked it open. The girl lit up with delight at her success and looked at Luminara.

The woman smiled. “Well, that was impressive. Thanks.”

A snarky grin flashed. “Luckily, I get bored easily and needed something to do.”

Luminara rolled her one eye skyward. “Alright. Don't overdo it.”

The girl chuckled as they walked into the living quarters. She glanced around, clearly not finding this space any better than the main compound. “Are you _sure_ my mother hung out here?”

Throwing back a glare, Luminara walked into the main living area to begin her search. “Sometimes we spent the entire day here, I'll have you know! Especially, if she wanted to try out some of my new equipment, what she liked to term ‘spy stuff’.” She grinned happily at the memories. “Though, usually when we stayed in we just sparred. Well, until your mother accidentally stabbed one of my clients. I declared an end to it after that!” Luminara chuckled at the memory.

Ahsoka laughed in delight. “How have you not told me this story, yet?”

Smiling impishly, Luminara replied, “Well, since you have declared my home a nightmare, I don’t know why you’d be interested.”

Holding up an apologetic hand, Ahsoka said, “I’m sorry. It’s not… _that_ bad.”

Luminara stopped digging through a drawer and stared at her. “Was that supposed to be an apology? If so, you need to work on it.”

Ahsoka grinned endearingly. “Advice noted.”

Shaking a head in amused affection, Luminara continued rummaging through her quarters. It had to be here. Even in her madness, she hadn’t been able to get rid of it. It had been a symbol of something lost, never to be regained. Luminara had buried it, hidden it away, but she had kept it. The more the woman searched without success, the more desperate she became. It had to be here. Where was it?

A gentle hand touched her shoulder and she jerked around in surprise. Ahsoka was gazing in concern. “What are you looking for?”

Luminara let out a deep breath, trying to calm herself. Then, she answered simply, “Something I lost.”

Ahsoka nodded sadly and Luminara somehow knew she understood. The girl said earnestly, “Ok, let me help you. What is it? What does it look like?”

Holding back tears, Luminara replied softly, “A cape. Your mother gave it to me. And I’ve got to—got to find—”

Warm arms wrapped themselves around her. Ahsoka murmured, “It’s not your fault, you know. She didn’t die because of you.”

The words twinged something inside Luminara’s heart and the tears came fast and hot on her face. “You don’t know that. I might have been able to save her, if I had been there. I was selfish and she paid for it.”

The embrace tightened around her. “No. You would have died, as well. And, if you died, who would Obi-Wan have become? Who would have raised the woman I love? Without her, I would have died long ago. Even if you didn’t die, you would have become someone different. You may think that's good, but the version of you that you hate—the one you regret—that’s the person who gave me Barriss.”

Luminara leaned back and gazed at the girl, unable to form any words. But, the tears suddenly stopped and there was a small feeling of release in her soul.

Ahsoka said with feigned seriousness, “I know. I’m surprisingly deep sometimes. I can’t take the credit, in this case. I spent half my life thinking the exact same things about my choices. Then, someone taught me that everything happened exactly as it should have. That person was Barriss.”

“Of course, she did.” Luminara sighed. “I don’t know where she gets such wisdom. It certainly wasn’t from me.”

“Maybe or maybe not. But, I do know where she gets her refusal to accept a compliment!”

Luminara laughed in spite of herself. Then, she said intently, “And, I know where you get your refusal to accept how special you are.”

Ahsoka started. “What?”

Bringing her hand up to Ahsoka’s face, she ran a single finger over the girl’s cheek. “I’ll tell you a story about your mother on the way home.”

Ahsoka smiled shyly, like the child she once was. “Alright. But, first we need to find your cape, don’t we?”

Luminara jumped back from Ahsoka in alarm. “You’re right. We’ve been here too long already. If you died in order for me to find a piece of old clothing, I’d definitely never forgive myself.” She frantically re-started her search, when it suddenly came to her. “Wait a minute! I think I know…”

Looking up from the corner she was digging through, Ahsoka followed Luminara into a smaller side room.

Crossing to a stack of crates in the corner, Luminara handed them one by one to the girl, until she got to the bottom. Then, she knelt down and reached into it, feeling a deep sense of relief flow through her.  Pulling out the red velvet cape, she ran her fingers over it gingerly. She turned joyfully back to Ahsoka.

The girl was staring at the cape in awe. “That’s beautiful.”

Luminara smiled happily. “That’s because it was your mother’s, the most beautiful, shining person I ever knew.”

Ahsoka gazed at her and then strode forward, taking the cape to wrap it around Luminara. Stepping back, she surveyed her handiwork with apparent satisfaction. “Yep, as I thought. You look even more amazing than before. I can see why my mother gave it to you.”

Feeling tears threatening again, Luminara choked out, “Thanks.”

The girl took her arm and grinned engagingly. “So, can we go now?”

Luminara felt a rare sense of warmth flow through her and she grinned back. “Alright, you win. As long as I have you and a cape, I guess I’m ready for anything.”

Ahsoka smiled brilliantly, blue eyes shining. “Good.”

_______

“So, I’ve been thinking.”

Obi-Wan glanced down at the woman on his chest. “Yes?”

“Well, you seem to have forgotten to do something.”

He raised intrigued eyebrows. “What is that?”

Luminara lifted her head and said lightly, “I’ve been waiting thirty years for you to marry me. Do you think you might want to get around to it before the Jedi return?”

Obi-Wan gaped in unblinking shock. He tried to formulate a response, but was apparently incapable as his mouth moved wordlessly.

Quirking an eyebrow at him, she said, “Of course, if you want to wait for Ahsoka and Barriss to push us down the aisle in wheeled chairs, I suppose we could do that too.”

He gripped her arms, sliding Luminara up his body to look directly at her. The action seemed to kickstart his overwhelmed mind and ecstatic joy started filling him. “Absolutely not, my future, very soon to be—how about tomorrow?—wife.”

She grinned happily and ran her lips along his chin. “Tomorrow sounds good. Though, I suppose we should really wait for the girls to get back from their mission.”

Obi-Wan let out a frustrated growl. “They’ll get over it.”

Luminara raised another eyebrow. “Is it really worth dealing with harassment about us getting married without them for the rest of our lives?”

He flashed an impish grin. “Sort of.”

She laughed and tucked a head into his neck, kissing it teasingly. “Hmm… is that the best you can do?”

“Well, it depends.”

Halting her ministrations, she glanced up at the unexpected response. “Depends on what?”

“Whether you plan to make me wait another week!”

Luminara laughed. “I should have known better than to bring this up when they weren’t here. Seriously, Obi-Wan, you know we have to wait for them.”

He fixed her with a pained expression. “I know we should. But, I really, really don’t want to.”

She gazed at him. “You're serious. You haven’t even mentioned it. If it was that important to you, why didn’t you say so before?”

Obi-Wan sighed. “Because, I wasn’t sure if you were ready for me too. And, I guess, I was worried you might do it for me and not for you. I didn’t want that.”

Luminara contemplated him strangely and then said, “You think that’s why I agreed all those years ago, don’t you? Somehow, you’ve gotten it into your head that I only agreed to marry you because I wanted to make you happy.”

His brow furrowed. “Didn’t you? I mean, I was the one who was pushing. You never seem that interested and I—”

Luminara kissed him intensely. He tightened arms around her, feeling a sense of completeness wash over him.

When the woman pulled away, she whispered, “No, silly man, I always wanted it. I only said no at first because I thought it might hurt you to marry me. Once I finally started to believe it could work, it was the easiest choice of my life.”

Obi-Wan stared at her in happy amazement. “In that case, I suppose we can wait a week.”

“Um, I’m not following the logic here.”

He grinned. “Well, if I don’t have to worry about you changing your mind I’m home free, aren’t I?”

Luminara laughed and nuzzled her face back into his neck. “It is possible you are the most ridiculously complicated man on the planet.”

“Nope. I’m the simplest. I only need one thing to be perfectly content. And, it’s laying in my arms and will soon be my wife.”

She raised her head, gazing up at him adoringly. “Rather simplistic worldview that doesn’t take into account all of the other wonderful things in your life. However, given it means I’m the one thing, I’ll go with it.”

He snorted. “I just told you that you are the only thing I need to be happy and that’s the best you can do?!”

Luminara grinned impishly. “Hmm… No, I’m pretty sure I can do much, much better than that. But, I’m not sure you can handle it.”

Obi-Wan Kenobi smiled joyfully. “Try me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's the end! I really enjoyed writing this story. I hope you all enjoyed reading it. Thank you to everyone who commented and read along as we went. I'm not sure I ever properly express how much joy I get from knowing people read something I wrote. So, all I can say is thank you so very much.
> 
> There is an epilogue to this story in "Life Behind the Scenes" (part 4 of the series), if you're interested.
> 
> [Timeline: Age 54-58]  
> [Main story references: Chapter 48]
> 
> My next story in the series will be a Rex-centric one, which I know my faithful readers might be interested in! In the meantime, I have a few snippets I am going to compile together for anyone who needs a quick fix. These are basically scenes I wrote in one of the stories that I cut out later for various reasons in the editing process. They vary in quality and/or importance. However, they might be interesting as a "deleted scenes" work, so to speak. 
> 
> Let me know if you have any other ideas about future stories or characters. I'm always looking for inspiration!


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